Saturday, March 01, 2008

My So-Called Life

A long long time ago, I used to blog. Then I got sick. Then I got depressed. Then I went seven long days without posting, and without working out.

Seven days is a long time to not write, it turns out. And even though I seemingly only leave my house to go to work and church, enough seems to happen to me that I hardly know how to start back up. But, I'll give it a go.

First, I'm not depressed anymore (well, not totally; let's face it, I'll never be exactly chipper).

My nose is still running.

I finally bought new running shoes: the charmingly named New Balance 1023s—recommended by the charming Andre of GottaRun—which are supposed to cure my PF and my bunion pain.

Andre

And I finally replaced my running tights that have had giant holes in the knee for several years. Huzzah.

And I discovered that the pool I swim in is definitely not 25 yards—it's 25 METERS! Double huzzah.

And I did every workout on my schedule this week, including a very sucky 11-mile-run today (see? I really AM back).

A Story

My YMCA offered a free fitness evaluation on Wednesday, which I took after running four miles on the TVmill. They were also offering a free swimming evaluation so I was very excited.

And here are the results:

Weight: 165 (I have gained 10 pounds since oh, December)
Height: 5'9" (not shrinking as I age!)
BP: 120/76

Body Fat: 28.5 percent, which put me in the 60th percentile for 51-year-old women, which is apparently considered low (I don't THINK so). Am told my goal body fat is 22 percent.

CardioThat would be that thing I've been concentrating on for the past three years?— I did a 3-minute step test: after which my heart rate was 150, which got me a cardio rating of: poor. Target rate: 116-120.

Muscle endurance: Excellent (?) How many curl-ups in one minute? 40=excellent (here's where I realize exactly how BOGUS this test is, since I have no abdominal muscles at all).
How many push-ups (girly ones) in one minute: 20=excellent (it so does not).

Flexibility:
Sit and reach test: I was in the 30th percentile for women my age. Equals? Poor.

So then I moved on to the FREE SWIMMING EVALUATION, which had been advertised for two days and which I had asked the staff about before I went to run, and then again before I did my fitness evaluation. This question confused the staff, (not an uncommon state of affairs; sorry but it's true). But I did as I was instructed, which was go change into my suit, and come back INTO THE LOBBY, while they searched for the person who would do the swim eval.

And I waited. In the lobby. Thankfully I had a very large towel.

The staff, after much running about, instructed me to go to the pool.

Which seemed entirely reasonable.

But the staff there were also confused by the words "swim evaluation." Finally, one of the lads (the pool manager) asked me to wait a minute, went to retrieve a YMCA program book (??), came back, asked me how many laps I can swim, and told me which class I was qualified for.

AND THAT WAS THE ENTIRE SWIMMING EVALUATION.

Thanks!

A Package in the Mail!


Many many moons ago, it was my birthday, and someone who lives her life upside down remembered reading about how my mother once sent me (the vegetarian) some frozen meat, and so this person sent me this

to make up for it.

It's meat-flavored (?) masking tape. Bacon, I think, and wieners. Minus the blood. And the killing part.

And this person enclosed a lovely note, which I reproduce below in whole (I am not making this up):


Which I think confirms everything we already know about this person.

I could write much more but I'm sure you people have lives.

15 comments:

Danielle in Iowa said...

Let me know if the shoes magically help with the PF! I have just been pretending I don't have it ("I'm not limping, really I am not!"

peter said...

Welcome back. 11 miles is good, it was, um, 10.4 miles more than I ran with the 10K group (I ran up the six levels of the parking structure at the end).

21stCenturyMom said...

hahahaha... I had one of those fitness tests at a 24 Hr Fitness place once. I had just run a marathon and my cardio fitness came back poor. I almost tore the poor kids head off. I would tend to evaluate their fitness test in light of their swimming test. Posers!

You're back! And you have new shoes! And the days are getting longer! AND YOU HAVE MEAT! Life is looking up.

ps- the note is posted backward. I had to copy it into some graphics software and flip it to read it.

Laurie said...

Glad to have you back. I completely understand how difficult it is to come back after long absences, though yours was hardly long. It's just kind of awkward when you come back. It's like you have so much to say yet nothing at all to say.

Chin up girly, those fitness tests are BS. You're in good shape. Ummm, hello, you ran 11 miles!!

Susan said...

Fitness tests are insane. Agreed.

Nice tape!!!

I got to GO TO a marathon today.

21stCenturyMom said...

I just thought of something else. Had you not done time on the TVMill prior to your test the results would have been very different. Mr. Fitness expert (NOT!) who administered the test should have known that.

LBTEPA said...

Those gym people are buffoons and need a good slap. Oooooh it must be terrible to be so unfit - you ONLY run 11 miles!!!
Katy is hilarious.

Sunshine said...

What a strange fitness test. Seems like it would be OK to grap the good news/results and just ignore that other stuff.
Welcome back to running... You go!!

Rainmaker said...

That is such awesome tape! I've gots to get me some of that. I'll decorate my cube with it!

IHateToast said...

you say i sent you tape. i say i got you some weenies.

i have the sniffles now. i'll rent the trashy movies; you bring soup. we'll be snotlets together.

eileen said...

Nobody asked me, however and nonetheless, I believe the best shoe to prevent PF is the Saucony Grid. When I wear a shoe that has a break at the arch, that's when I get PF. Not for nothin, I'm jus sayin....

m said...

How many laps can you swim? You have got to be kidding me.

Mike Fox said...

The thing that helped me with my PF was arch supports in the shoes (I use the Superfeet ones)...and doing calf stretches.

Great to see you are on the mend and running and blogging again!

Mrs. Duffy said...

Glad you're feeling better... I missed you!

Rae said...

Wow, that is one AWESOME evaluation!! I really think the Y misses the boat a LOT with true fitness, basically it's just a big gym around here with a pool. Glad you're back!