My So-Called Life

A long long time ago, I used to blog. Then I got sick. Then I got depressed. Then I went seven long days without posting, and without working out.

Seven days is a long time to not write, it turns out. And even though I seemingly only leave my house to go to work and church, enough seems to happen to me that I hardly know how to start back up. But, I'll give it a go.

First, I'm not depressed anymore (well, not totally; let's face it, I'll never be exactly chipper).

My nose is still running.

I finally bought new running shoes: the charmingly named New Balance 1023s—recommended by the charming Andre of GottaRun—which are supposed to cure my PF and my bunion pain.

Andre

And I finally replaced my running tights that have had giant holes in the knee for several years. Huzzah.

And I discovered that the pool I swim in is definitely not 25 yards—it's 25 METERS! Double huzzah.

And I did every workout on my schedule this week, including a very sucky 11-mile-run today (see? I really AM back).

A Story

My YMCA offered a free fitness evaluation on Wednesday, which I took after running four miles on the TVmill. They were also offering a free swimming evaluation so I was very excited.

And here are the results:

Weight: 165 (I have gained 10 pounds since oh, December)
Height: 5'9" (not shrinking as I age!)
BP: 120/76

Body Fat: 28.5 percent, which put me in the 60th percentile for 51-year-old women, which is apparently considered low (I don't THINK so). Am told my goal body fat is 22 percent.

Cardio—That would be that thing I've been concentrating on for the past three years?— I did a 3-minute step test: after which my heart rate was 150, which got me a cardio rating of: poor. Target rate: 116-120.

Muscle endurance: Excellent (?) How many curl-ups in one minute? 40=excellent (here's where I realize exactly how BOGUS this test is, since I have no abdominal muscles at all).
How many push-ups (girly ones) in one minute: 20=excellent (it so does not).

Flexibility: Sit and reach test: I was in the 30th percentile for women my age. Equals? Poor.

So then I moved on to the FREE SWIMMING EVALUATION, which had been advertised for two days and which I had asked the staff about before I went to run, and then again before I did my fitness evaluation. This question confused the staff, (not an uncommon state of affairs; sorry but it's true). But I did as I was instructed, which was go change into my suit, and come back INTO THE LOBBY, while they searched for the person who would do the swim eval.

And I waited. In the lobby. Thankfully I had a very large towel.

The staff, after much running about, instructed me to go to the pool.

Which seemed entirely reasonable.

But the staff there were also confused by the words "swim evaluation." Finally, one of the lads (the pool manager) asked me to wait a minute, went to retrieve a YMCA program book (??), came back, asked me how many laps I can swim, and told me which class I was qualified for.

AND THAT WAS THE ENTIRE SWIMMING EVALUATION.

Thanks!

A Package in the Mail!

Many many moons ago, it was my birthday, and someone who lives her life upside down remembered reading about how my mother once sent me (the vegetarian) some frozen meat, and so this person sent me this

to make up for it.

It's meat-flavored (?) masking tape. Bacon, I think, and wieners. Minus the blood. And the killing part.

And this person enclosed a lovely note, which I reproduce below in whole (I am not making this up):


Which I think confirms everything we already know about this person.

I could write much more but I'm sure you people have lives.

Get Well

To all of us who are STILL SICK:

Recipe o' the Week

Take loose tea. (preferably English Breakfast)

Put in teapot.

Boil water (preferably in electric kettle, because you are too inpatient for stovetop tea kettle).

Pour water in teapot.

Let steep.

Pour scalding water on your hand by mistake.

Feel sorry for self the rest of the day.

The end.

Sick

I'm sick, and not in a good way.

I ran three miles Tuesday morning, but that's it, I'm down for the count with a raging sore throat and a cold. You know the kind of sore throat where it hurts to swallow, or breathe? I'm holding my breath right this minute.

The last time this happened was on my birthday, in Miami, at a networking conference, in a luxury hotel, where I almost met Craig of Craig's list but I didn't, since I couldn't talk.

I've tried this FAIL-SAFE sore throat cure: Gargle with 1/8 teaspoon of cayenne pepper in warm water every 1/2 hour. One more day, and then, that's it. I'm ripping my throat out.

Besides being hopped up on cayenne, I'm hopped up on antibiotics, on lozenges, on Benadryl. I'm drinking water and juice like it's going out of style, and have only gone to work for half days. I'm sleeping like it's my job. Except when I can't sleep because my throat hurts too much. I read an entire book yesterday, Baldacci's The Camel Club. (Rating: good for when you're sick.)

I did get to watch the World Track and Field Championships in Osaka. Did you know there's this crazy women's race called the Steeplechase that involves women running seven laps around a track, jumping hurdles AND water, just like horses? I got very ticked off when they cut away from that to show me the Men's hammer hurling championship. Now there's a sick sport.

The thing about taking time off when you're sick is that it's tough to enjoy. You should totally take sick days when you're not sick.

Sheesh.

I have nine miles scheduled for Saturday. Just last Saturday I was very busy lecturing my little running group about how running once a week, which is what several of them told me they had done, was not gonna cut it.

Oh how I hate when my words come back to haunt me.

Meanwhile, I've been carefully studying this video for tips. Although I have a feeling that it's everyone else who needs to watch it.