Friday, June 29, 2007

I Rule!!

Today, Friday, June 29, 6:30 a.m.:

mile 1: 11:20
mile 2: 10:31
mile 3: 10:36
32:28 (10:49/mile)

whoo hooo.

My trusty coach mapped out 4.8 miles for tomorrow morning (don't ask me, I'm sure it's very scientific). Number One Daughter said she is coming with me. Early. In the morning. Near the Awakening.

Whoo hooo I say again!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Please Please Me

This IM convo (which was certainly NOT held during work hours) could be the start of a whole new poetry genre. Or not.

Can you guess the theme? (By the way, I totally blame Susie for this.) says:
please please me.

Jess says:
come on come on says:

Jess says:
I wanna be your man

Jess says:
I wanna be your ma-a-a-a-a-n says:
i wanna be your lover baby

Jess says:
love you like no other, baby

Jess says:
like no other can says:
i told you before says:
you can't do that.

Jess says:
I have got

Jess says:
another girl says:
i'm gonna let you down

Jess says:
I am telling you...this time you better stop says:
i could be sleeping like a log

Jess says:
I could too says:
i SHOULD be.

Jess says:
It's 5!

Jess says:
go home! says:
yeah, but i got one more thing to do... says:
[expletive deleted) says:
now i'm back in the ussr says:
which curiously

Jess says:
I'm the fool on the hill says:
doesn't exist! says:
head. says:

Jess says:
concusion? says:
well, there was the train incident

Jess says:

Jess says:
I'm back in the USSR now, too! says:
prudence says:
this is like a poem! a bad poem!

Jess says:
I would go crazy if my name were Prudence says:
i love that name says:
could have a lot of fun with a name like that. says:
glass onion

Jess says: says:
wow, i just learned a lot!

Jess says:
does your head feel bettter?

Jess says:
after learning? says:
not really?

Jess says:
maybe you have too much stuff in there

Jess says:
too much pressure says:
TRUE, THAT! says:
will empty it out tonight. says:
life goes on

Jess says:
I wish there was some sort of defragmenting function for your brain says:
la la la la life goes on says:
and my apt!

Jess says:
I've just seen a face

Jess says:
Don't Bother Me!!!

Jess says:
my theme song!

Jess says:
go away, leave me alone, don't bother me says:
happiness is a warm gun, mama says:
i wonder how long we could go on like this?

Jess says:
eight days a week

Jess says:
long, long, long

Jess says:
the end says:
take a good look around you.

Jess says:
I'm SCARED to do that says:
hold your head up you silly girl says:
i'm so tired, feelin' so upset

Jess says:
two of us

Jess says:
I'm in love and it's a sunny day says:
you were only waiting...

Jess says:
let me take you down 'cuz I'm going...

Jess says:
nothing is real says:
if you want me to i will says:
i wonder what other bands we could do this with. says:
i'm guessing? says:
on the blog? says:
this won't be nearly as funny
Jess says:
Jess says:
did you notice that Craig was just singing "Real Love"?
Jess says:
Jess says:
I think not

Jess says:
here comes the sun king says:
julia, julia! says:
i'm outta here julia

Jess says:
you never give me your money

Jess says:
waaaaah says:
shimmering in the sun

Jess says:
good day sunshine

Jess says:
and good night says:
do you or don't you want me to love you?!? says:
tell me says:
nevermind. says:
helter skelter.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Sit Down, You're Not Going to Believe This

People go out on Friday nights.

It's true.

I saw it for myself when I went to my first concert in (cough ahem) years, to see this fellow:
(my crush, Richard Thompson, who if you don't know him, you totally should )

He rocked the 9:30 Club in D.C. My ears are still ringing, but in a good way. And there were actually people there, proving that I am not a remnant of a very rare and faraway breed.

Who knew?

That's the latest I've stayed up in a long long time, and Number One Daughter was shocked. Shocked I tell you. She is now encouraged that I might actually have a life.

Which life will no doubt end when I start the 10-Mile Training Program with DCRR on July 14, which I've been asked to help coordinate. (It takes some people several times before the depths of my incompetency become fully apparent. In other words some people never learn.)

But for a few hours there, I was a groovy hot mama, bopping along to protest songs and love ballads, and screaming like I was at a Beatles' concert. In 1964.

And then, I woke up.

And went on a 4-mile run Sunday night. (OK, I did some stuff between the concert and the run. Poetic license, people.) This week I waited 'til it was practically dark to avoid the heat and humidity. I had a lovely offer to run with someone on Sunday morning, but (cue Chariots of Fire) I have this little commitment every Sunday morning, which tends to last a long time since I volunteer for this and that, so had to turn the offer down. Which kind of sucks because had someone run with me, this run would have gone

... down like a warm butter pad on toast. I swear. We'll talk, and run, and before you know it the Giant will be in our sights again and we'll be done. I swear. Maybe 55 minutes.
I ask you: what kind of MORON turns down an offer like that?!?! The man said it would be like buttah!

Instead, I went out for my long run on Sunday night with the humidity hovering around 120 percent. (I don't care if that is scientifically impossible. You live in D.C. and tell me all about it.)

And this happened:

mile 1: 11:14
mile 2: 11:13
mile 3: 11:42
mile 4: 11:41
45:51 (11:27/mile)

It's discouraging. That's all I'll say.

No, wait, I'll say more.

This is the start of week five of my "Return to Running" (soon to be a major motion picture) and I'm supposed to be throwing down 9:30 minute miles by now. What the hell happened?

Someone keeps assuring me that "less is more" and that I'm "building a base," and "quality over quantity," and that I am doing "great," etc. Thank God for this encouragement, because I'm getting fed up.

I have my first 5k on July 4 (well, my first since the "Return to Running"). It's not gonna be pretty, but I'm going to run that thing if I have to have someone drag me across the finish line.

But let's all take a deep breath and remember that whatever I lack in talent and ability, I make up for in stubbornness. (Or stupidity. Take your pick. They both start with the same letters.) So I'm going to get there, as God is my witness, if it TAKES ME THE REST OF MY FREAKIN' LIFE.

Amen, halleluiah.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Nutrition Smackdown! Quote of the Day! Other Stuff!

Phedip vs. BlogFather Smackdown

Complete Running is hosting a fascinating debate between Mark the Blogfather, and Steve Runner of Phedippidations podcast fame about marathon and long-run nutrition-ing (new word). Lots of weirdness goin' on over there.

Today's Quote

A year from now you will wish you had started today.
- Karen Lamb
No freakin' kidding! How about tomorrow. Tomorrow I will wish I'd started today.

Five Weird Things

OK, someone wanted to know five weird things about me.

1. I can't remember who though. I am horrible with real people and names, nevermind blog people! People. Have a heart.

2. I never ever ever ever buy or use paper towels. Or napkins. And when such things were part of Number One Daughter's life, diapers. Always cloth. Saving trees, and all that.

3. I must always be near an open window. Even in the dead of winter.

4. Except at work, where I don't actually have a window, so there I have a heater on at all times, even in the dead of summer.

5. I adore the clothes from the 40's and if I could get away with it, (which I can't, I'd just look weird), I would dress the part every day.

6. I totally hate that gloves for women went out of style. Did I mention I have a germ phobia?

7. Ditto hats. We should all be wearing hats. I luuurrrrrve hats.

8. So this is more a list about things I prefer, not actual weirdnesses.

9. Oh, here's one: I sleep in a crib. Sort of. OK, it's a daybed, twin-sized (what else?), but it has 3 walls. Add one more and well, it really would be a crib. But it's cozy!

10. Nothing tastes as good as soy yogurt with crumbled up graham crackers.

11. I refuse to pay $1.25 to use the dryer.

12. I take my oatmeal like a man—straight up, plain. Explains the hair on my chest.

Monday, June 18, 2007

It Was the Best of Times

Yes, it's true, I was lucky enough and felt incredibly honored to attend the wedding this past Saturday of Susie and David (who now needs his own blog if he wants to be in da FAMILY).

Susie was radiant. David was handsome. The service was lovely, unique, and fun. I took about a million pictures but I don't want to steal their thunder, so I will hold myself back (not easy, believe me).

But when Susie took the microphone and sang "'Til There Was You," directly to David, I thought I'd never stop crying.

I heart these two! And many happy returns to them.

(Below: The way I remember them. "'Til There Was You" comes right after "All My Loving." Thank goodness they flash their names up on the screen or we'd never know who was who. That Paul is sooo dreamy. Still! And available, I hear!)

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Four Long Miserable Miles

It's already hot here in D.C. 90°F today, so I waited til 5 p.m. for my "long run." Didn't help. Still hot.

But before I commence bitching, run over to Little Miss Runner's and tell her WELL DONE on her very first triathlon!

And when you're done there, race over to Little Miss I Run for Hope and congratulate HER on her first 10k!

OK, enough about people skipping merrily around. Let's get back to me.

For four hellish miles I listened to the "Notes on Camp" episode of "This American Life," while endlessly bargaining with myself. You know the drill: "You can quit at 2.5. You've been doing 2.5 all week. OK, just make it to 3. Make it to 3.5. Stop whenever you want."

This running thing? It's not going so well. I'm digging the 2.5 miles every morning, but this long run stuff? Did I ever say I LIKED THIS?!? If I did, I'd like to know what drug I was taking at the time.

I wore my DC Road Runners t-shirt, cuz I like to make people laugh:

I'm the one that's getting used to that view (wait, that doesn't really make any sense, unless you're saying, jeanne, you've got your head up your ... nevermind):

mile 1: 10:46
mile 2: 10:46
mile 3: 11:19
mile 4: 11:31

Yeah, I'm 'sposed to be all happy I did it and I may not be fast, but I'm all persistent and stubborn as all get out and blah blah blah de blah.

Instead, my head hurts. And tomorrow is Monday. And funny, I didn't find the love of my life again this weekend. (He must be out of the country this week month year.)


Speaking of moods, here's a fun little toy. I know my mood (bad). But I'm all about the interactive internets. So play along! Find out how I make you feel. You make me feel: HAPPY!

Create your own Mood-Meter

Thursday, June 14, 2007

My Secret Life

"D.C. Hears Our Cries, Plans for Bicycle Rental Program"
—(from DCist)

Did you know I dream about being a biker? It's true, I do.

Just last night I was very busy bitching to someone about how I don't have the dough for a bike (right now) and then voila (or is it viola?), ta da, maybe someone waived a magic helmet or something, because today I read this (cynically, but with a smidge of hope):
DDOT has announced that it will be launching an automated bicycle rental system in DC in partnership with Clear Channel. Similar to car sharing, the system would allow members to swipe a card and release a bike from a kiosk (DDOT says to think of it as kind of like an airport luggage carts -- but better).

Yeah, we know, Clear Channel is the devil, blah blah but come on, rental bikes! That work like Zipcars! Sounds pretty neat. This sort of arrangement would also do little to offer bikes to tourists, since you'd have to have an account set up to be able to rent one, but if the pricing structure makes sense and they're put in good locations around town, there's more than a few of us who would consider using them.
Tourists? Who cares about tourists?!?!

Yes, I was very busy telling this person that, back in the day, I was quite the biker. In fact, I said, I biked all over Boston for all the years I lived there. Year-round. On itsy-bitsy teensy thin tires on my 10-speed Peugeot that i bought used. (Don't even start talking to me about granny gears—I was thrilled I had any gears.) I biked thru Nor'easters and wind that would freeze your eyeballs and blizzards (for real: how else to see the boyfriend? That a-hole!).

Wait, where was I?

Then I moved to Richmond, Va, where Number One (yes and only, David) Daughter was born. When she turned eight, I bought two bikes (on credit) for $700 and it was the most money I'd ever spent in my life. And then I dragged HER all over creation on family outings.

I even wrote about "Biking with Kids" for the local newspaper.

I was a biker babe!

And then they invented triathlon and I moved to D.C. and I think now I could maybe get a bike for $350 at Wal-Mart. Maybe kid size.

I should look into that.

ADDED: If you live in or around D.C., don't forget to take the survey!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

It's Your Lucky Day!

Today is "Subscription Drive" day here at NBTR headquarters!

For a limited time (forever), you can subscribe to my new feed for free (like everyone else's feed). But it's a new feed, and I'm trying to consolidate, yada yada, blah blah blah.

On with the show!

Please consider subscribing to this goofy little blog!

Here! Just click here!

It's really easy!

This way, you'll never miss a word of this goofy little blog!

And you won't have to even leave your seat to read about my zany antics!

Or my deepest thoughts!

Even if you've done it before (well, not twice before, 21st), please do it again!

See, I am so not above begging!

This has been an unpaid, nonpolitical, purely egomaniacal, announcement.

(Apologies to

Monday, June 11, 2007

OK, Enough Fooling Around!

This is a running blog and since I am actually running these days, it's time to pay the piper and tell ya what I been up to!

I've been up to ... very gradually increasing my distance.

The end.

Oh, you want more?

Let's see. Way back in March, March 19 to be exact, I had a little surgery and was banned from any exercise whatsoever for a long long time. I think I was cleared to start walking at the beginning of April. And then cleared for running on May 27! At which time I started running 1.5 out of three miles four times a week.

Last week I upped my daily mileage to running two out of three miles, with my "long run" at three miles.

Last week's 3 miles looked like this:
mile 1: 11:55
mile 2: 11:34
mile 3: 12:01
35:31 (11:50/mile)

And today, the start of my third week, my 3 miles looked like this:
mile 1: 11:03
mile 2: 11:14
mile 3: 11:21
33:39 (11:13/mile)

I am trying hard not to care about time. I am trying to just get the body slowly used to the distance. As you can see, I'm hovering around 11 minute miles ... usually the wrong side of 11 minutes, but as you can also see, I am hooked on watching the watch as usual. If I had a brain, I would really lose the watch. Because I already know that I'm the best! (Thanks, Curly Su, I love that post!)

One of my faithful coaches constantly assures me that this slow and steady approach is the right one. He's also set this coming weekend's long run for four miles ... which at the moment sounds like about 26.2.

But the good thing about not caring about time is that it kind of makes running ... almost enjoyable! Who knew?!!

I also have to say that all those weeks I spent walking every single day were not for naught. Walking not only kept me in the habit of dressing up funny but also in the habit of doing some kind of exercise every day. And that was a good thing. I also managed not to gain 10 kazillion pounds.


My next race, God willing, is the Cure Autism Now 5k, a local race on the 4th of July

which has become a family tradition. I don't think I'll be setting any records this year, but at least I'll be back in the game.

So I have this big long post all written in my head about goals and goal setting and all the other races I want to do this summer but now I'm tired because I ran three miles today, and people I need my beauty rest!

Thursday, June 07, 2007

It's All About the Helmet

Every single day on the lovely Capital Crescent trail, my trail, I see loads of bikers. Triathlete bikers with all their gear, little old lady bikers with all their gear, fancy-ass D.C.- lobbyists/lawyers on bikes (you can just tell), CIA agents, kids riding to school, and toddlers trucking along with their parents in tow. I can't even begin to count how many of these idiots are wearing their helmets like this:

In fact, just the other day, I saw a girl who was about 10-years-old riding with both her parents (neither one wearing a helmet) wearing her helmet like it was a sun bonnet. She fell splat right in front of me. I immediately went to see if she was OK, and her parents said she's fine, she's fine, and the kid said "I'm fine, I'm fine" and I said, "She needs to wear her helmet corectly because next time, when she falls on her forehead, she might not be so fine," you stupid morons.

Or something to that effect.

What really kills me is when grown-up normal looking people are wearing their helmets like this:

Is that better than no helmet at all?? You bikers out there, tell me!

Cuz every single time I see someone wearing a helmet like they're trying to get a suntan on their forehead, I most desperately want to correct them and thereby, possibly save their lives. (But then, I want to correct most people about something, so there you go.)

I want to say, "People, The Helmet is not an accessory!"

Please wear it like this:

Wow, I'm grouchy.


Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Inquiring Minds

So, I thought I'd answer a few of the thousands of questions we get here at Not Born to Run Headquarters!

Q. Why do you insist on buying things and then taking them back?

A. I hate and detest shopping. So when I'm in a store, and that would only be during a most desperate occasion, like, say for instance, I'd just gone through my entire wardrobe and given away everything that was too big, or too see through, or too 1978, what happens is I buy more than I can afford, I buy things that I don't need or that don't match, or I buy things that Number One Daughter thinks look hot. She's 20. OK? See?

It's a system. A very complicated, complex, psychological system.

Q. Describe a typical day in the life of NBTR.

A. What is this, the Ms. America contest?

5:40: Wake up.
5:41 Plug in instant water boiler thing-y.
5:42 Wash last night's dishes.
5:43: Eat instant oatmeal (no sugar, jon) with soy milk.
5:43-5:57: Eat oatmeal, read various papers, journals until I realize with a jolt what time it is.
5:57: Dress (sometimes this takes two full minutes).
5:58: Brush teeth, run comb thru hair.
5:59 Make pb sandwich, grab yogurt.
6:00 Dash out door, down elevator (lazy) and walk across the street to buy the Washington Post from the box. I used to have it delivered until I got into a thang with the delivery grandpa: I thought 9ish was a little late, he disagreed.
6:05 Buy Post, head for bus terminal.
6:06 Sit at terminal, wait for one of three different bus lines.
6:12 Hop on bus with the number "47." (Here is the Fatal Error. The Blue Screen of Death, if you will.)
6:13-6:30: Bury nose in paper. Casually glance out window. Uh-oh.
6:31: Casually ask bus driver which direction he is going, knowing full well the sad, sorry answer.
6:32: Get off bus in some godforsaken suburb. Cross street, pray that I have the right change, and wait for the other "47."
6:45: Get on the correct "47." Have ceased feeling superior to everyone else.
7:30: Arrive at destination 45 minutes late. (Hey you, wake up! This is good stuff here!)
7:30-7:37: Walk to work.
7:37: If I'm good, report directly to locker room, change and go out for run.
7:37: If I'm not so good, fire up e-mail and get sucked in.
8:15: Let's say I was good. Back from run. Shower, hair, makeup.
9:00: Now I'm screwed, because I have only 30 minutes to read (=scan) two more newspapers, and check the wires.
9:30: Daily stand-up editorial meeting.
9:45: Prepare for 10 am presentation, of which I was notified the night before.
10:00-11:30: Give presentation to salespeople. Are there any salespeople in the room? There are not.
12:00: Meeting FINALLY ends. God help me.
12:00-1:00: Try to actually work.
1:00-4:30: Attend steering committee meeting on future of the "endeavor" (small "e").
4:30: Skip out at 4:30 because it's deadline/production day and I have work to do.
4:31: Get e-mail from someone who stayed in meeting, asking "where are you guys?" (Oh, don't ask.)
4:32-6:30: Finally start work for the day!
6:30: Number One Daughter arrives from her job downtown, wants to use workout room.
6:30-7:15: Hang around, waiting for NOD.
7:15-7:22: Walk to bus.
7:22-8:00: On bus, trying to read, but should really bond with NOD. No reading.
8:05: Home
8:10: PB sandwich.
8:10: Watch some crap on TV.
9:00: Start my volunteer gig! Send 27,000 e-mails to my volunteer boss. He loves that.
9:15: Intersperse writing scintillating NBTR post, along with dipping in and out of blogs, with volunteer gig.
11:00: Finish volunteer gig. For tonight. (Do you feel sorry for me yet? No??!?)
11:30 Bed
4:00: Wake wondering if I've overslept. Repeat this a few times. It's fun!
5:40: Clock radio goes off, plays "I've Got You, Babe." Wait. A. Minute. Get germ of idea for a really good movie plotline!

I hope this fully satisfies my fan's curiosity!

Monday, June 04, 2007

I Ran 3 Miles Today!

And in only slightly less exciting news, on Saturday, Number One Daughter's BF's team won the silver medal at the 2007 Intercollegiate Rowing Association National Championships.

The Stanford men's varsity eight boat tied for SECOND Saturday ... to record the highest finish in Stanford's history. Stanford's time of 5:34.125 equaled Harvard's showing as both clubs were just six-tenths of a second behind winner Washington (5:33.165) in a dramatic race.

(#1 is Stanford, #2 Harvard, #3 Washington. What a finish! CLARIFICATION: Those are the boats' lane positions, not finishing positions!)

(Showing off the hardware! Or, err, something!)

(L-R, U. of Wisconsin coxswain, the BF, and NOD.)

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Short and Not Sweet

I went to bed late last night, woke up this a.m. at 7 with a pounding headache, which sure enough, soon turned into a migraine with its accompanying side effects (I'm lucky, I get the nausea WITH the vomiting). I stumbled to my purse where I keep the tylenol p.m. handy, ate a few, got some ice to put on the back of my neck (I read somewhere that that helps) and the next thing I knew it was 2 p.m.!!

I think I was in college the last time I spent that long in bed! And I'm pretty sure I wasn't alone at the time! Or barfing! I felt weak, but did some laundry then took back the new clothes I bought last week to replace everything I gave away.


I ran four times this week! M, T, Th, and Friday. Friday I went beserk and ran two miles straight. My initial 9:43 minute mile has calmed down to a nice respectable 11 min mile slog, but it's OK. I'm running! I warm up, run 1.5 miles, and cool down. It feels good. I just need to figure out how to get to work early enough on the bus so I can get my run in, shower, and be in my seat, all chipper and ready to go, by 8 a.m.

Weekends are really too short to be sick.