Monday, March 03, 2008

Back Away From the Low-Fat, Vegan Chocolate Mousse

Brought to you by Whole Foods.

This concoction quite obviously is laced with some illegal, addicting substance. For the record, I am vowing here and now, in front of God and everyone, NEVER TO BUY THIS STUFF AGAIN, because I can't be anywhere in the vicinity of it without scarfing it down like it was my last meal before I headed for the chair.


This just proves once again (as if there were any doubt) that you can be just as unhealthy being vegetarian as you can be by not being vegetarian.

Other fun stuff that is happening:

I went to my first official tri orientation on Saturday. And I have a tri-mentor! Who finished Ironman Wisconsin last fall. I haven't met her, but she has already sent me a 10-page e-mail trying to answer all my questions (lotsa luck).

I learned a few things at the tri orientation.

For instance: Did you know that you DON'T WEAR A BATHING SUIT during the triathlon swim? Because if you did? You'd be changing out of it, as in BUTT NAKED, outside, into some kind of bike riding get-up, in front of a whole lotta people.

Who knew?

I don't really understand the whole tri-apparel thing. It's very mysterious.

Also, I don't yet know how to change a flat tire, which makes me wary of going out for any kind of longish ride (long being more than 10 miles, don't laugh). I asked at one local bike shop if they'd teach me how, and they said sure, for $50. Bastards.

My "official" tri training starts March 10, which is a shame, because I'll be in AUSTIN, Texas, from March 7-12, attending this for work. I may be doing a bit of reporting, so I need to bring a video camera, a digital recorder, digital camera, and a laptop.

After I get out of prison for trying to bring all of that on a plane, I'll need to get a 13-mile run in, which means I need to bring all my running crap. Plus all my swim crap, cuz I'm going to take a wild guess that there just might possibly be a pool somewhere in Austin?

Texas is like a foreign country to me. Do I need a passport? (E-mail me at jeanne.notborntorun AT if you live in Austin!)

And I'm having a major what-to-wear freak out. The dress code is hipster-geek, (a term approved by the Wall Street Journal, no less). Plus, it's 90F there, and, I don't know about your summer clothes, but I have no idea what I wore last summer, because apparently I got rid of everything I owned.

That's all I've got people. Kudos, condolences; both accepted.


Rainmaker said...

$50 to learn how to change a flat? Tell them to go blow themselves. That's horrible!

Next time you're in the Alexandria area, shoot me a mail and I'll teach ya how. It's super easy. It's super-duper-easy if learn how to do it BEFORE you get a flat out on the roads.

LBTEPA said...

That is so rude about your tyre! Put up a notice at work and offer cakes, someone will show you no probs.
The most important part of your tri apparel is your bra. Once that's sorted you just pop on a top and some tri shorts and away you go.

Susan said...

Tri -- whoo hoo! I am super-duper excited to hear all about this journey.

Nancy Toby said...

No cream and no eggs? Heresy.

SURE you can wear a bathing suit to tri in. In fact, that's what the pros wear.

However, we mortals usually want something to cover OUR FAT ASSES and to HOLD UP THE GOODS so wearing a jogbra underneath a swimsuit and then pulling on a pair of bike shorts in T1 is quite common.

Nancy Toby said...

PS: Check out REI for bike maintenance courses. I took an 8-hour course there (on 2 Saturdays) and it was well worth it (even if it requires some travel).

Vickie said...

Well I've been doing tris for almost 10 years and still can't change a flat. I thought there was some sort of AAA for bikes, but haven't found it yet. And as for wearing or not wearing a bathing suit. Its your choice. You just are not going to change. Put shorts on over and a shirt if necessary and go. If you do decide to undress in front of everyone, you won't have any further clothing dilemmas because you will be DQd. That is unless you have the body of a goddess, in which case, somehow no one in charge "notices."

Laura said...

The beginning of your post made me think about what I would eat if I were going to die. The answer? EVERYTHING I COULD FIND. Is it morbid that I think like that?

eileen said...

Following Nancy Toby's advice I went to REI and found this :

Amanda said...

cracking up about the Tri wear because I would so be in the same boat...and changing a flat...not so much.

Runner Susan said...

omg. are you going to see dooce? because if you are i'm going to have to stalk you. constantly until i have every detail of what happened.

Anonymous said...

So glad to see you're back!! If you're a Runners World reader, you might try posting a comment on Kristin Armstrong's blog on their site (mile markers) - she's in Austin, seems like someone who would help you out (she may even know some tri folks) and you could both get a blog entry about the meeting of the blogrunners. :)

jeanne said...

oooh anonymous, thanks for that tip!!! I wish I knew who you were so I could thank you! well, thank you!

David said...

you're just going to Austin for vegan mousse parties.

Just12Finish said...

Um - I don't think it'll be 90F in March in Austin. Just go down to the Texas Co-Op (that's the bookstore) and get yerself some burnt orange outfits and you'll fit right in.

Oh, and swimming ... Zilker Park baby.

Anonymous said...

see, i disagree. it'd be my strategy to tug and pull at a bathing suit and bend over nakey with all sorts of ugly. i figure i'll have stunned the others enough to break their game. maybe even write a message on it or a temporary tattoo: one per bun. i play dirty.

21stCenturyMom said...

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GET TO GO TO SX FOR WORK! You are so lucky. I have always wanted to go to Austin - great place for music. You'll probably find Richard Thompson playing in some bar knowing your luck with him.

Some people do race in a swim suit - the whole race. No thanks! I'll take "a tri suit" for 200, Alex.

And yes - you do need to learn to change a tire. See if there are any cycling clubs in your area. Lunachix often has tire changing clinics. Also, ask your mentor if your tri club will have one. It's pretty common.

Last but not least - Austin has a many, many pools to choose from.

Dori said...

Oh man, you're going to SXSW. I'm so jealous! And you're 5'9--I'm doubly jealous. :-)

I'm going to take a wild guess and assume that chocolate obscenity has sugar in it. I bought some chocolate bar at Costco that was sweetened with something not resembling sucrose. It tasted damn good! Too good. After one bite, I wanted to eat 10 of them. I told my husband to eat it.

Judi said...

Ok, let's talk tri's. :)

I wore a lap suit during all 3 of my tri's last summer but it took me 3 races to get the apparel right. I wore my suit under a tri top and tri shorts. Nothing to change in or out of.

Transition is usually just an open grassy area you keep your bike and stuff at, unless you do an IM which you have a tent and helpers to help you find your gear.

Look for a tri top and tri shorts rather than a skinsuit - because trust me, you will have to pee and a skinsuit in a PITA if you are trying to pee.

I hope this helps. Don't worry, your first tri will probably suck but they get better and better. LOL. My first tri was awful. Ask me about it sometime.

Oh and find another bike shop! Yours totally sucks ass for charging you 50.00 to learn how to change a flat! See if you have a cycling group there where someone can teach you. A trick I leanred from my b/f is to pump your tires over what they should be by a little and you won't flat out. And they have a van driving around the bike course anyways in case you do get a flat.

Ok, this is long enough. :)