Monday, September 19, 2005

So Frustrated!!!

So y'all, I've been dealing with this right knee/back of calf/now outside of knee/ now hamstring thing pretty much since Sept. 3, my last long slow run. I ran the 5k on saturday, i ran twice last week (just 3 and 4 miles), with no pain during run and some afterwards, but long after, like at night.

On Sunday, after Saturday's 5k, I woke up and could barely walk, but forced myself for a 30 minute walk, during which I hobbled like john wayne.

This morning, my leg didn't feel so bad, so I thought I'd try a 4-miler, slooow. After 1.5 miles, I had to call it quits and walked back. Intense pain, now mostly on outside of right knee, and hamstring. oh, and other places since my stride is all off now.

Called sports doc back this morning not to see him, but to get a referral to a sports PT; my insurance says I don't need a referral from a doc, but the state of MD says i need a prescription from a doc. SO i am trying to sidestep actually seeing the doc again, and just have his asst tell him to WRITE ME THE F'N script already so i can see someone tomorrow. First call at 9 a.m; 2nd call at 2:30 (both times 20 minute holds, yeah i know i'm not the most important person in the world...) and receptionist just told me ONCE again that the doctor's assistant will call me...WHEN HE CAN. And she was all annoyed with me.

So I know i've got nothin' on Stephanie, cuz I've got about 5 1/2 weeks to go, but i've got my own little freak out going on. I think that doc was just wrong about the meniscus tear and now i want to see a pt who actually runs. and i'm seeing podiatrist on thursday which i will try to change to tomorrow bcs it's seems incredibly coincidental that two weeks after I got my $500 custom-made orthotics, which I took out slowly, as this running podiatrist cautioned me, that all this s***t started happening.

So i'm in major bummer land, and now am thinking maybe I just can't do it--the M thing. And for the first time in my life, that i can remember, I was feeling so happy and good and proud of myself.

sorry, no jokes today. END RANT


Danny said...

I hated it when everyone just told me "Don't worry you'll be fine". How do they know? Sometimes there really is a problem. Maybe I won't be fine...

So anyway, I'm not going to say that. I certainly hope you'll be fine, and I hope you'll get through this and run your marathon.

I'll also tell you, that either way the RBF is here for you, and we totally sympathize with you and feel your frustration. (At least I do.)

Feel better.

Noames said...

gah! this totally sucks. But remember, even if this injury prevents you from completing the Marine Corps marathon this year, (and you still have time to heal, and you've already done the most important part of the training), there are other marathons that you could defer to. And this isn't about your failure--to me, finishing a marathon is much more about your mental state than your physical state. For non-runners like us, the big accomplishment is changing your life to train for it, which you've done. In the meantime, you've put your body through hell (and enjoyed it), so maybe it's protesting a bit.

Keep us posted!

jeanne said...

Ah thanks guys. I try to keep my whining and self-pity in check but sometimes I leave the door open by mistake. and that sports medicine clinic I referred to? M.O.S.T. in SILVER SPRING MD? Never called back. I'll make sure to post the address later so they can sue me. bsmluxds!!!!

susie said...

The only thing that might work at this point is to shout four letter words from the roof top. You must be so frustrated. But "noames" said it best--whatever happens, you have done the work. And for that you should be proud. You will finish it, if not now then soon. We are with you.

Lara said...

Don't be writing off the M just yet! You're being proactive here - recognizing that there is a problem and going to see the people who may help to right it. No freak outs, no borrowing trouble - just one step at a time.

'kay? :)

jeanne said...

god, we're a bunch, aren't we? Sorry you have to add me to your list to babysit my freak-outs! Lara: I'll try it your way, after i try it susan's way: screaming four letter words!

thanks again guys. I know there are people much worse off... i gotta remember that.

David said...

Hey - 5.5 weeks to go is lots of time to get straight. Don't stress crazy. Rest a few days.
I had a thought when reading your post about my mother who is a self-prescibing remedialist (ever heard of one?) It's like you've got too much going on. Do what your body tells you and try not to cute it up. Are your shoes fairly new? All my leg and foot problems eminate from worn shoes. Are you stretching like a good girl? How about an ice bath after a run? Or a vinegar bath?
Baby yourself. You deserve it and you'll be fine. You have plenty of time until the M.

Stephanie said...

Hang in there... (That's all I have to say b/c I'm hardly the person to tell you to cheer up.)

a.maria said...

can i just say...

what the $%&*@$! is going on?? stephs ham, your ham, now my ham?

BAH. and the problem is the hell if i even know what to DO. im guessing, since we all started running w/i weeks of each other, and have all gotten strange hammy injuries w/i weeks of each other... that we're either kharmically connected, or our bodies are rebelling all at the same time.

as for YOU, i hope your doctor gets things straightened out... but, also like you, i have about 6 weeks till my M, so really, we have time to deal with this... i'm with susan on the 4 letter words, but i think its a bit early to throw in the towel.

i know its frustrating. we'll get this figured out!
if nothing else, IF we cant do the M we originally signed up for...maybe we can reschedule and do the M together! power in numbers and all that.

so, chin up. alls well that ends well and this WILL END WELL... dammit!

jeanne said...

omg, i know! it can't be coincidence!! and it would be fun to run the M together after all this virtual running, so that is a GREAT back-up plan!

I know what you mean about what to do: ice, heat, stretch, (but not too much) rest, don't rest, scream 4 letter words (my favorite)...arghhhh!

I just got thru to the orthopod's asst (clue: call the billing department and ask them to put you thru!), and he's going to see if I can go straight to the PT (a PT who actually RUNS) without the hassle of having an MRI, which I swear won't show anything.

I did the elliptical for 45 minutes this morning (i'm no stephanie!) and that actually made things better. So wtf, i don't even know what hurts half the time since it seems to change minute to minute.


And I am running 10 miles this saturday if it KILLS me, dammit!

jeanne said...

Hey David: Thanks for the advice. Shoes are new, but slightly different model (could be the cause); orthotics new (slightly different model (could be the cause); I'm stretching like it's my job! I've heard it's best to heat after the acute phase of injury... this week, i'm gonna stick to elliptical and then run with my group 10 miles on saturday, if the running gods cooperate!

never heard of a remedialist...sounds cool, tell more!