I know that I'll always have questions, but I don't want to question my faith in myself ever again. I don't want to doubt for a second that I have a place out there - and I suppose that's something that comes with time, with practice and with experience.
—Wil
Ah Wil!! Wil, you are always inspiring.
But as Wil so presciently notes, this kind of confidence isn't built overnight. It's built by pushing yourself to try things you never thought you could do, like, say, for instance, running a marathon! (Or in her case, an awesome triathalon.)
My nine miles flew by this morning, as you all knew they would and I was fine, and what the hell was I so worried about anyway? and you were all right, as usual. And as Susan, another voice of reason, often reminds me: "If not for the bad days, the good days would seem blah, right?" Yep, right.
I ran with the "group" this morning, and it was good. My usual running partner did not show up, and hasn't replied to e-mails this week. Don't know if she's dropped out or not. It's been a week like that—people dropping out of my orbit, feelings getting hurt, accompanied by a heapin' helpin' of excessive worrying about many more things than deserve worrying.
And speaking of worrying, since I'm nowhere near no longer questioning my ability (obviously), I thought I'd share some info I read this morning that fed into my self-doubt as sure as slugs feed on strawberries (they do, you know).
Cool Running sponsors a Jeff Galloway bulletin board, and yikes, it's mean in there!! Apparently, a whole lotta people think that "Gallowalking" is a sham and if you can't run a marathon without taking walk breaks, you a) shouldn't be out there, and b) definitely should not be claiming you "ran" anything.
The AIDS Marathon Training Program recommends different run/walk ratios depending on your training pace: In the interest of full disclosure, my ratio is 3:1 (run 3 minutes/walk 1) at a 13:30 minute mile pace, so that's what I do on Saturdays. On my maintenance runs, I run four miles without walking at an average 11-min mile pace. But four miles is waaay different than 26.2.
One of the posters referenced this article, "From Couch Potato to Ironman," one woman's chronology of her first marathon, (umm, sounds familiar), and then pointed to a bulletin board of 10—10!!!— pages of really nasty comments about this woman, all from "real" runners, who were all beating this woman up for being underprepared (she kinda was), and well, not make the wisest choices during her first marathon (she kinda didn't). And, of course, for walking.
Your assignment, should you choose to accept it: read and comment.
(And yeah, I kinda already know the answer to this.)
****
Addendum to yesterday's post: Jeanne, first, please do us all a favor and stop reading (and certainly stop linking to!) unbelievably negative people who can only bring you down and make you doubt yourself. Hey, did you actually read WIL's quote you so prominently posted as your first paragraph (see above)??
In the same post, (in the space of like one hour), you went from feeling good about yourself to letting these self-aggrandized morons (who by the way are total strangers) make you feel ... just wrong. What is WITH you?
One day, grasshopper, you will learn. You really will. I promise.
15 comments:
I didn't even click the link to check that stuff out because I just hate to see that kind of bashing! Don't let that negative crap wash over you - it's really about doing your thing, challenging yourself, and coming out the other side. Let 'em spew all they want, it's their own energy wasted.
And great job, of course, on that easy 9 miles :)
Yeah, I though twice about even including the link. Why spread bad vibes? I'd just never seen/heard anything like it before. So, good for you for not clicking!
and thanks :)
heh. yeah, thats me. i'm so tough. all 5 feet 2 inches of me. sheesh. i was drunk last night eh?! sorry 'bout that. i'll remember not to check blogs at 3am after nights of heavy drinking from here on out!!! hehe. i'm ridiculous.
RAWR. hear me roar ;)
Hey, you didn't have to delete it! It was good stuff!!
awww, now i feel bad. :(
Great job on the 9 miles! I accidently read those negative posts over at cool running too, but I vowed not to let it bother me. No one can take away your accomplishments when you know in your heart that you are successful.
I didn't read your post properly so I went to the article and posted a supportive comment there LOL she will think I am some weird nuffy stalker LOL. Our coolrunnings (here in Oz) was described to me as a big pissing contest and the person who said that was quite right, in certain threads anyway. It's a pity that the pathetic, bitter critical types sometimes obscure the kind, helpful, welcoming people on coolrunnings who actually encourage people to exercise. ASnyway, my point is that anyone who is off the couch and exercising is a legend and I send all of us a big round of applause. So there!
LBTEPA
I think the key hear is that these people idolize themselves and their own bodies. Someday those bodies will fail and they will be left with other younger people mocking their weakness. My brother-in-law ran his first marathon in sub 3 hours, and he is proud of me for trying to run mine in less than 6 hours. You go girl.
Wow, I'm so glad that something I said helped you - I've (obviously) been where you are now, and I don't doubt that I'll find my way there again before all is said and done. But one thing that I've learned so far is that if I don't doubt myself at some point, I'm probably not risking very much. And if I'm not risking very much, I'm probably not going to achieve very much.
We should be a little bit scared, doubting, nervous, unsure, it's there to keep us honest and to get us out there every morning. Fear is great like that. Just don't let it take over of it'll freeze you in place. You have every right to be out there, run the whole thing, run five or nine and walk one, who cares - just cross the finish line before the cut off and no one has the right to even look at you sideways.
It's your race, your journey - don't let anyone take one scrap of it from you. Hang in there, it's all the way it's supposed to be :)
I wish I could blow through nine miles right now, much less have so much great perspective on it!
Sean: Thanks for compliment, but I didn't exactly blow thru 9 miles! more like a slow crawl, with a few runs thrown in!
and Wil: EVERYTHING you say inspires me! Honest. But you speak the truth. It IS all the way it's supposed to be.
Thanks to all for dissing the cool running posters who are run amuck. They soo don't get it. Boo them.
What is it with these people and their mean-spirited posts? Bizarrely, it's the same on some of the knitting blogs - there's one extremely unpleasant one I can think of - where the content consists of nothing but bashing beginner or younger knitters. Christ. Congrats on the great nine miles and think only about those.
There are mean knitters???? WTF?? Ok, the world has officially gone to hell in a handbasket. Or a knitting basket. Wouldn't it be funny if the people bashing beginning runners were the same ones bashing beginning knitters? Or, better yet, if these speedy runners took up knitting, and then got bashed?? tee hee.
I know i'm late on this thread--but, without having actually gone to coolrunning--I'm somewhat shocked to hear about the negative vibes there--only a few times in 20+ years of running/quasi-running have i ever seen/heard anything like that. My general impression, in fact, is quite the opposite--that runners are very supportive of each other. Of course, the problem is probably the fact I'm using flesh & blood runners as a frame of reference and not cyber-runners.
O, I think these folks must be the same kind of people that enjoy flame wars, or like the sound of their own posts (sight of their own posts?) Who knows. I do agree, though, the only runners I've EVER met, virtually, or otherwise, have been the nicest, most supportive people. Hence my addendum. It's an abberation, and I can't imagine why Galloway would actually pay to have that forum up.
But enough abou them, tell us about YOU!
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