Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Inquiring Minds

So, I thought I'd answer a few of the thousands of questions we get here at Not Born to Run Headquarters!

Q. Why do you insist on buying things and then taking them back?

A. I hate and detest shopping. So when I'm in a store, and that would only be during a most desperate occasion, like, say for instance, I'd just gone through my entire wardrobe and given away everything that was too big, or too see through, or too 1978, what happens is I buy more than I can afford, I buy things that I don't need or that don't match, or I buy things that Number One Daughter thinks look hot. She's 20. OK? See?

It's a system. A very complicated, complex, psychological system.

Q. Describe a typical day in the life of NBTR.

A. What is this, the Ms. America contest?

5:40: Wake up.
5:41 Plug in instant water boiler thing-y.
5:42 Wash last night's dishes.
5:43: Eat instant oatmeal (no sugar, jon) with soy milk.
5:43-5:57: Eat oatmeal, read various papers, journals until I realize with a jolt what time it is.
5:57: Dress (sometimes this takes two full minutes).
5:58: Brush teeth, run comb thru hair.
5:59 Make pb sandwich, grab yogurt.
6:00 Dash out door, down elevator (lazy) and walk across the street to buy the Washington Post from the box. I used to have it delivered until I got into a thang with the delivery grandpa: I thought 9ish was a little late, he disagreed.
6:05 Buy Post, head for bus terminal.
6:06 Sit at terminal, wait for one of three different bus lines.
6:12 Hop on bus with the number "47." (Here is the Fatal Error. The Blue Screen of Death, if you will.)
6:13-6:30: Bury nose in paper. Casually glance out window. Uh-oh.
6:31: Casually ask bus driver which direction he is going, knowing full well the sad, sorry answer.
6:32: Get off bus in some godforsaken suburb. Cross street, pray that I have the right change, and wait for the other "47."
6:45: Get on the correct "47." Have ceased feeling superior to everyone else.
7:30: Arrive at destination 45 minutes late. (Hey you, wake up! This is good stuff here!)
7:30-7:37: Walk to work.
7:37: If I'm good, report directly to locker room, change and go out for run.
7:37: If I'm not so good, fire up e-mail and get sucked in.
8:15: Let's say I was good. Back from run. Shower, hair, makeup.
9:00: Now I'm screwed, because I have only 30 minutes to read (=scan) two more newspapers, and check the wires.
9:30: Daily stand-up editorial meeting.
9:45: Prepare for 10 am presentation, of which I was notified the night before.
10:00-11:30: Give presentation to salespeople. Are there any salespeople in the room? There are not.
12:00: Meeting FINALLY ends. God help me.
12:00-1:00: Try to actually work.
1:00-4:30: Attend steering committee meeting on future of the "endeavor" (small "e").
4:30: Skip out at 4:30 because it's deadline/production day and I have work to do.
4:31: Get e-mail from someone who stayed in meeting, asking "where are you guys?" (Oh, don't ask.)
4:32-6:30: Finally start work for the day!
6:30: Number One Daughter arrives from her job downtown, wants to use workout room.
6:30-7:15: Hang around, waiting for NOD.
7:15-7:22: Walk to bus.
7:22-8:00: On bus, trying to read, but should really bond with NOD. No reading.
8:05: Home
8:10: PB sandwich.
8:10: Watch some crap on TV.
9:00: Start my volunteer gig! Send 27,000 e-mails to my volunteer boss. He loves that.
9:15: Intersperse writing scintillating NBTR post, along with dipping in and out of blogs, with volunteer gig.
11:00: Finish volunteer gig. For tonight. (Do you feel sorry for me yet? No??!?)
11:30 Bed
4:00: Wake wondering if I've overslept. Repeat this a few times. It's fun!
5:40: Clock radio goes off, plays "I've Got You, Babe." Wait. A. Minute. Get germ of idea for a really good movie plotline!

I hope this fully satisfies my fan's curiosity!


21stCenturyMom said...

Holy Moly - something's got to go because you are NOT getting enough sleep. I pick 'get on bus going the wrong way'.

I have a similar shopping MO to you. I don't even know why I asked.

Susan said...

I agree. Eat more and sleep more!!!

Jon (was) in Michigan said...

Wake up every day with Andie McDowell? I'm thinking I could live with that. :D

Just kidding, Honey. (in case she's reading)

Sounds like your middle name is "Busy Day", Jeanne.

Runner Susan said...

Eat more, sleep more and shop more! I don't make the rules, that's just the way it is.

Bex said...

Okay - your schedule is the reason why I wanted to take you to Tahoe. You know I feel a personal responsibility for your overall well-being and happiness, right? Don't ask me why. Maybe b/c I think you're cool.

You definitely need to get more sleep. And several more people to help you at work. Yeah, like THAT's going to happen. :-(

Phoenix said...

I need a nap. Yeah, more sleep, more food (veggies much?), more downtime. I hear you laughing. Stop laughing.

I'm so impressed you find time to run with all that.

m said...

You are too funny. (i think I start all my comments that way)

What a day you have. I'm exhausted.

Laurie said...

All of those meetings will rot your brain. No wonder you are so wacky! ;)

David said...

Too much PBJ for me.
If you would only do some journalistic work in my world you'd be much more entertained and well regarded by your peers and readers.

Oh 2 Run said...

Love the schedule and feel your pain!

Just12Finish said...

Explain that part about the hour and a half meeting to the sales team again?