Thursday, July 27, 2006

NO WAY!!!

I don't want to believe it either. Though an interview I read earlier today with Floyd Landis' mother had me thinking: "This guy needs a new mother!" She's since talked to Floyd and now says he didn't do it. But geeze, how about a mother who doesn't need to talk to her son first before declaring her allegiance?

Moving on:
Last night instead of a track workout, I did hills. Times four. A half mile hill. Up it. Four times. Which means down it four times. Little did I know at the time that you add that up and get ... four miles. Now, throw in the run to get to the evil hill and the run back, another three miles, and my 4-mile track workout somehow turned into seven miles. Rock on! My pace on the hill (which to be fair, is a wee bit shy of .5 miles) was about 5:18, a little faster than my 10K pace. (God, I love it when I talk like this.) So this will make me stronger. Right? RIGHT??? Cuz right now? I pretty much feel like limp spaghetti and, sigh, as usual, am convinced I will never run again. I barely made it to the car tonight. (See Bikram story, below.)

I sloged (sludged + jogged) back to work. The whole thing took 1 1/2 hours. It was 9:30 by the time I got back to work, where I was so tired I couldn't even take a shower. For some reason, people were still there, and still wanted to talk to me! In my condition.

Then I came home and did some writing 'til 11:30.

So I skipped this morning's 4-mile run because seven? Last night? Tonight was Bikram. I have officially switched studios from the lovely 5th-floor-walk-up-but-filled- with-intense-mirror watching-people studio in Dupont Circle (downtown D.C.) to a smelly not-so-great one nearer my office and not on the 5th floor. Tonight, the instructor warned that it would be "hotter inside because it was hotter outside." I pondered this question (among others) for the entire 90 minutes. Can't they regulate the heat? So, yeah, it's hot out. Put the thermostat on 120 and if it goes to 121, then um, turn it down.

Whatever.

At the end, my head hurt and and I was so not at peace. Drenched to the bone as usual, with a heart rate that would not cease its maddening beat. (Kinda like the "Telltale Heart.") The older gentleman next to me had been groaning and fussing throughout the entire class, which was bugging the HELL out of me. I'M TRYING TO GET TO MY PEACEFUL PLACE here, jackass. Shut up already.

So here's the other question I pondered: Why is it only men who groan during exercise class? I swear to God, I have never heard a woman groan incessantly through a 90-minute Bikram, or spinning, or anything class. And don't tell me we're not working as hard.

I have a theory, but you go first.

More news:
Saturday is a 16-mile run with DCFIT. This is the first time I have ever tried to run 16 miles. Get on your knees and pray.

I keep forgetting to announce that I have two races coming up before the Big One:
The Montgomery County Parks Half, on Sept. 24, with Finally Running Susie and her s.o. David, who have graciously accepted my invitation to stay with me in my little castle—paaartay!; and
this crazy 20K that Bex talked me into. (Why does a 20k sound worse than a half? I dunno but it does.) Actually at the moment they both sound ghastly. But I know they'll be fun. Right? RIGHT??

Please, like a bad boyfriend, just lie to me.

22 comments:

David said...

I can be a bad boyfriend. How bad do you want?
You are hot .. or did you say sweaty?
You're killing me with your training. I am so behind you, you'll probably beat me to the Tidal Basin.
Okay; now you've opened the door. What are the rates for runners staying at the Jeanne Castle?
You can do 16 miles. Absolutely. No question. Don't forget to tip the driver. :)

jeanne said...

My castle is your castle, David. The door is open and the (imaginary) porch light is on. (And thanks for the lie. I know what courage that took!)

Bolder said...

it'll be fun, try it -- it taste like candy...you can do it, you have the body of paula radcliffe, and the mental toughness of deena kastor... you'll be on the podium after you're through with THAT course...

p.s. men groan in bikram classes because of what the women are wearing, and the poses the are posing in... only so much a man can take when he's wearing something that demands good behavior of all body parts, hence the groaning...

Jennifer said...

Ha! So the studio can't regulate the temperature- that's crazy!
Your upcoming races sound great!

a.maria said...

you're crackin my shit up.

men groan so women will look at them.

you're awesome for your 7 mile hill workout.

those races sound like fun.

i have to run 6ish (maybe 8) this weekend and i'm going to die.

thats all i got. homie out!

21st Century Mom said...

OMG! You are such a stud. I say you manage 16 just fine but it does seem a bit of jump at this point. But after hills and Bikram and the suffering with groaning men - no problem. My personal theory is that it is because they are both babies and braggarts. They groan when they are sick and they groan when they lift weights and they groan at bikram and they groan when sent to the height of ecstacy. They're natural born groaners. I like Bold's theory better, though.

susie said...

You're gonna do 16 because you will make yourself do 16. I am so behind you too....I am getting worried about our half. I really am. You may have to drag me to the finish line.

KT said...

In my Bikram days, it used to tickle me how we girls would have one small bottle of water, and the guys would bring in these milk gallon jugs full of it. Wimps. :)

m said...

My man doesn't do yoga and the only groaning I ever hear...well never mind.

Watch the heat on your 16 mile run. It's ungodly out there today and will be worse on Saturday.

Wanna-be 5k-er said...

Major props on the 7 miles of hill work, wow. 7 miles of anything is impressive in my book, but up & down a hill? Wow.

Monica Seles used to grunt when she played tennis, don't know if she did while just plain working out, though...

GL on the 16 miler!

The Running Red Sox Fan said...

Those runs are going to be FUN, FUN, FUN, and you are totally going to rock them!!
I will be thinking about you on Sat and wishing good things your way to get you through 16!

Donald said...

If you're already jumping into 16-mile training runs, you're totally ready for a Half and a 20K. No problem.

As far as females grunting? Two words - women's tennis.

Anne said...

I love 20ks. They seem so much shorter than half marathons, when, of course, they aren't. And something tells me Leesburg's no longer "the country" like I remember from the 1990s. As for Floyd Landis's mom, I think she's just not used to the media attention. I lived among Mennonites and they are very press shy. Plus, we have to remember he disowned his religion and that can't sit well with his parents.

I really hope, if there are drugs involved, it's a matter of someone slipping him a mickey. As it is, the allegations have ruined his short-term endorsement prospects.

Lisa said...

I'm slowly getting my miles increased on my long run Saturdays...you CAN DO IT!!!

Juls said...

A lot of good theories. I am going to go out on a limb and say that they groan so that nobody will notice when they fart. By that point, everyone is ignoring any sounds from that part of the room.

Just a thought. I doubt it works though.

Black Knight said...

Perhaps in this moment you are running 16 miles for the first time: a thought of support from Italy!

Nancy said...

LOL- sounds like you are kicking butt in fine fashiion. I am encouraged!!

Bex said...

I'm in Tahoe and it's beautiful. I'm also about to go on a 12-mile run in the 7,000-ft. altitude. Kill me now. Hey, we're going to have so much fun at the 20K, we won't be able to contain ourselves. Actually, I hope you do. IF you know what I mean.

neese said...

i'm cracking up too, great post!

i'm not sure i can handle the bikram yoga even on a cool day outside, i'm sure i'd be "woozie" in no time.

16 miles!!?? how great! i'm looking forward to your report on that. you are doubling me this weekend my schedule has me running 8!

angie's pink fuzzy said...

RIGHT!!!

Jon (was) in Michigan said...

Why do guys groan? Did you really ask that? Because it feels good.

What are we talking about anyway?

Elle said...

Bolder said it all...what's left to say?

I actually changed gyms recently because of the obsessive mirror behaviour. Plus...people were totally getting in the way when I was trying to see myself in the mirror.