Thursday, February 23, 2006

Namaste

Went to Bikram yoga tonight, even though I had already run a quick (endless) 35 minutes this morning. Just for the record. (Although I can now listen to Slate.com's podcast, plus the front pages of the New York Times. I was rockin' to the Times, people!!)

Back to Bikram. It was kind of crowded. And it was mild outside, so the temp inside was, well, really, incredibly, extremely, very, very hot. The room is dark when you get there; you go in quietly, pick out your place, roll out your yoga mat and cover it with a towel.

And that's where things went wrong.

I made the faux pas of asking the young lady next to me if she could move her mat over a few millimeters. I was smack up against the wall (the wall of windows! cool windows!!) but there are a few poses where you actually need space on either side of you, like this poorma salabhasana, for instance:



Hold pose for the rest of your life.

See, this pose? Means you need a bit of room.

Well shut my mouth. My request was met with a huge sigh, rolling eyes, the statement "Well, then I won't be able to see myself in the mirror," plus assorted other inimitable signs of total utter exasperation. She moved, making sure she made a lot of damn noise, what with moving her towel and water bottle and all. Plus all the sighing.

See, the thing about yoga is, it's all about the moment. You're supposed to be in the moment, and let stuff go. Our yoga chick teacher kept reminding us of this: "When you finish one pose, have no regrets, because it's over, you'll never have it back, just move on to the next one." (Just like life!!) In between poses, you try to get still as quickly as possible. Because 1) it's 150 degrees, and 2) you need to slow your heart down. She kept reminding us of this as well. "Just notice what you do between poses. Do you immediately reach for the water? Or the towel? Or re-do your hair? Or fidget?" I tend to get into "the still" asap, before I die. But this chicka who was so bent outta shape about moving over 1/2 inch, well, I noticed she didn't know what still meant.

The inside still eluded me tonight, as I spent too many minutes of this 90-minute class letting this kid get to me. Thinking about what I'd like to say to her. Trying to think kind thoughts: like maybe she had a bad day? Then, thinking that once we were in the locker room, I'd explain yoga to her. Right in her face. Then, actually worrying that she'd punch me out in the locker room.

So, I guess what I'm saying is: Don't be taking a yoga class, especially a HOT yoga class, if you can't move your big fat ass over 1/2 inch.

17 comments:

susie said...

Reading this made me realize how much I miss yoga!! It took me forever to be able to relax at the end. I kept thinking, "come on. Let's get this moving." Finally my body was able to let go, and from then on, I was into it. But I NEVER would have been irritated to move my mat for someone:) No way. Namaste.

Black Knight said...

You are getting me curious to try Yoga, but where if the nearest place is 60 miles far? However I am sure I would not succeed in helding a pose like that in the photo.

Anne said...

I have a feeling these kinds of encounters are going to crop up more frequently as the prima donnas learn to deal with yoga's popularity. You probably did the right thing by keeping quiet, but I would have risked the punch to make a point. Guess that's not very yoga-like though. I'm glad my group is mostly men.

m said...

First I wish I could find a place to do Yoga. I think it would really help me.

Second. I HATE people like that! God forbid you can't see yourself in the mirror. I could think of 100 nasty things to say to people like that. Though, like you i'm non-confrontational in reality, but in my mind I can kick some ass.

You took the high road

tallgirl said...

This is brilliant, Jeanne.

You are amazing. I tend to plot revenge too... but never actually do anything about it. Plotting is more fun, I think. 'Cause then you don't have to worry about being punched in the face.

Though, if I'd been there, I would have kicked that little chiquita's ass to Timbuktu if she laid a finger on you. You're my girl. And I am an amazon. We are a team.

Namaste.

Bolder said...

is there a lot of yoga porn on people's blogs these days? -- or is it just me??

oh yah, and why do i not do yoga???

21st Century Mom said...

Oh how this made me laugh - and then it gave me the inspiration to spread the word.

Buy yours today!

a.maria said...

lol. yeah jeanne. i'm not confrontational like you either.... ?!?!!!!!!... ;)

deep breath in... out...

ahhhhhh!!

tallgirl said...

I HEART 21st Century Mom!!!

I laughed so hard I almost peed myself! Which would have been uber embarrassing because I'm at work.

Elle said...

I would have smacked her for good measure and said..."honey if my ass was that big I'd be avoiding all mirrors"...see how fast she quit yoga after that one.

21st Century Mom said...

I notice your Google ad is for the SF Marathon. It says "Run the SF Maraton". I think that must be a message from God, Jeanne. Listen closely.....you have a place to stay.

Rae said...

Oh how funny!! Why are there SO many people in the world like that?? You shoulda just kicked her in the face!

susie said...

Love the t-shirts, 21st!

Olivia said...

As a member of the Latent Comback Group, I often think of something cunning and clever long after hope of letting it rip have disappeared. Also, I feel like Bikram yoga attracts people like Eye-Rolling Sighing Girl. That's why I do iyengar - no mirrors! :)

Jennifer said...

I need to check out Bikram yoga- it sounds like something I would enjoy...I'm gonna check that out I need to diversify my workout schedule.

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Diane said...

So when are you coming back to Hot Yoga??? My studio is moving to Macomb Street on June 1st. We'll be even closer to you. We don't have ANY naughty yogis like that in our studio :)