The Perfect Day

I planned to write a glorious epic post recalling all my dreams, hopes and wishes for 2008, assessing how they came out, including charming Christmas photos showing all the new loot I got gave, but all I can think, or write about, is my NEW 5k PR that I set on Jan. 1, 2009.

Montgomery County Road Runners New Years 2009 5k:
1/1/09: 53/126 5/10 Jeanne McCann 51 29:48 (9:36 min./mile)

(Feel free to skip the rest of this post, as that's really the best part right there.)

You will recall the sad episode of the 5k Christmas Caper, where I missed running sub-30 by 1 second and had the audacity to try to sweet talk the race director into changing my time (or something like that). He held firm, though, leaving me no choice but to run yet another 5k.

I rang in the New Year with my BFFs at a PJ party where we drank champagne, talked about boys and sex, and laughed our heads off.


As much fun as I was having, and despite many tempting pleas to spend the night, I'm an ATHLETE darnit, and in training. There was nothing for it but to bundle up and and drive home, because I had a date with a 5k the next morning, and one of us was going down and it was NOT going to be me.

I set my brain for 29:30, since last time I had it set for 29:59, which was obviously not enough of a cushion. I fell asleep around 2 a.m., champagne bubbles floating above my head, listening to the 50mph winds tearing up the trees outside my window, a smile on my face.

New Year's Day dawned cold, 25F, but the wind had died down. I went through the motions of getting dressed in my nice new Christmas present Nike cozy warm turtleneck (thanks, E.!) and the blue vest that is known far and wide around the Metro D.C. area, because, well, it's all I ever wear (Brooks Motion Vest--shop around, you can find it much cheaper).

Unsurprisingly, I had the road to myself at 9 a.m. New Years Day. At times like these, I just try to turn my brain off (I hear you sniggering) lest it talk me out of things. Which I knew it was trying to do. So I stopped at a 7-11 to get some of my secret weapon

and since I don't drink caffeine, this stuff really gets me going, if you catch my drift.

I hopped around outside waiting for the start. Hopped because I was hopped up on no sleep and now plenty of caffeine and? I was freezing to death.

Old School Runner was there volunteering, as is his tradition, and documented the occasion. Here I am hopping:



This is a double-loop course, starting with a rather large downhill to a cul-de-sac, back up on the other side, where the course flattens out to another cul-de-sac, then repeats.

My canny plan: Run like hell until you drop.

mile 1: 9:10 (and that includes stopping to tie my shoe!)
mile 2: 9:30
mile 3.1: 11:00 (i've got the dropping part down, cold)

Finally running with both feet off the ground, the way the Big Kids do it.

Not hurling, just stretching. All photos courtesy of Old School Runner, thanks, Kent!

Montgomery County Road Runners New Years 2009 5k:
1/1/09: 53/126 5/10 Jeanne McCann 51 29:48 (9:36 min./mile)

1/1/08: 63/98 5/12 Jeanne McCann 50 30:22 (9:47 min./mile)

1/1/07: 63/83 10/11 Jeanne McCann 49 33:16 (10:42 min./mile)

As usual, I texted and wrote everyone I knew to tell them. And for once, the official results were the same as my unofficial one. Hells yeah!

The rest of the day I did nothing but snuggle on the couch, read and nap.

Like I said, it was The Perfect Day.

How to Shave Your 5K and Win Second Place in Your Age Group

Back on January 22, 2008, I was dumb enough had enough foresight to enter the Shave Your 5k Challenge, sponsored by the twisted encouraging Half-Fast.

Had I known on January 1, 2008, the day I ran the 5k that set the time that I would need to shave, that I would be entering this challenge, it's entirely possible that I would have run much slower. However, I didn't know, because he hadn't invented it yet, so I awoke on Jan. 1 and ran my fastest 5k ever, in a blazing 30:15 (9:46 min./mile).

Except that the Shave Your 5k Challenge has been weighing on me ALL YEAR. For 354 (give or take) days, I've been walking around thinking, "Jeanne, you NEED to find another 5k before the year is out! And then you need to run it faster!"

HF laid out the terms and conditions in excruciating detail, but here's the essence:

The basic idea is to see who can shave the most time off their 5K time during 2008, so everyone will run a 5K at the beginning of the year and another one at the end of the year. The winner is the person that shows the greatest improvement.

At the very last minute, I managed to find a 5k with a $5 entrance fee: the Potomac Valley Track Club 5k Christmas Caper. I showed up Saturday morning at 8:00 for an 8:30 start on the lovely, windy, cold, godforsaken Hain's Point.

It was cold.

Cleverly, I had specifically designed my last post to set up all the reasons why I not only would NOT be shaving my 5k, it would in fact have grown a beard.

But hope springs eternal and the mind is a powerful tool as Number One Daughter's boyfriend is fond of pointing out. So I set my brain for 29:59.

There was a field of about 164 (or exactly 164). The start was a chalk line on the ground, and a piece of cardboard stuck on a stake, as were the mile markers. The start signal was someone yelling "go."

As always I had a carefully thought out strategy: Run like hell until you drop. You know, the same plan the experts recommend.

Mile 1: 9:13

My heart did feel like it was going to break, and I had to give myself a talking-to: "Don't worry about what will happen in mile 3, just keep going. Try to pass people."

So I did.

"That guy who is breathing up your arse? Do. Not. Let. Him. Bother. You."

So I didn't.

"Do NOT look at that watch or I will hurt you. DO. NOT. LOOK."

So I didn't.

I missed mile markers 2 and 3, but somewhere around mile 2.something, while I was busy bargaining with myself ("Just get to that tree and you can walk. O.K. you really don't need to walk we have BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE, no walking but you can slow down. A little. Oh forget it, you can't do this WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE") someone jumped out and took a photo. He yelled "Hi Jeanne!" None other than D.C. Spinster, coaching his crew in the half-marathon program. I have my own paparazzi. Just sayin'.

That jolted me awake. Now the mental calculations began. I allowed myself to glance at my watch and saw 26 minutes elapsed. I thought I had about half a mile to go (NOT) which I figured I could do in 5 minutes IF I KILLED MYSELF. "What's the point," I thought, "you've already lost." (I specialize in this kind of self help. Call me for a consultation.)

But as I neared the point of Hain's Point, I saw some people hanging around, some webbing, something looked different, holy shit the finish is right here, stopslackingturnitonRIGHTNOW!

I flew through the chute EXACTLY as the clock ticked over to 30:00. Or did I make it before? I checked my watch and it said 29:59. (No fancy technology at this race, just good ol' fashioned bib #s.)

How thrilled was I? Ecstatic. I started babbling to a woman standing at a picnic table about the Shave Your 5k, and making 29:59 and blah blah blah. Finally remembering my manners, I asked, "So, how'd you do?" "Ah," she replied, "I won."

(Longtime readers will remember my penchant for inadvertently picking the winners to brag to.)

I had looked at last year's results beforehand, and noticed a lack of speedsters in my age group. There were awards given for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd, in 10-year age spans.

Could TODAY BE MY LUCKY DAY??

It was too much to hope for.

The RD read through the winners of all the age groups, finally getting to Men 50-59, then, Women 50-59, "First place goes to.. Betty... and there are no other women in this category..."

"Um, hello?!? I'm here!"

RD: "Oh, are you here? C'mon up and get a prize."

It was a bit anticlimactic.

The prizes ran the gamut from candles to cookies to popcorn to Christmas kitchen towels. I choose a giant candle.

Then I picked up NOD and her BF and dragged them to breakfast so I could brag. After which I posted my (unoffical) time on Facebook. And called everyone I knew. And wrote to Half-Fast, "29:59!!!!!"

Life was sweet!

Then they posted the official times.

94/164 Jeanne McCann F 51 Bethesda MD 30:01 (9:40 min./mile) 32/83 women F50-59 2/6

30....say what???

I could end my long tale here, and you all could get on with your lives, but I feel it's my duty to provide you with the REAL END to this story.

At the top of the results page, it fatefully says, "Send additions or corrections," and provides a helpful e-mail.

Yes. I am pathetic enough to write to an overworked, volunteer race director about a difference of TWO SECONDS. Couldn't he please make a teensy tiny correction? Wasn't it possible that the clock was wrong?

And here was the thoughtful, immediate reply:

Let me think -- what would Rod Blagojevich charge for that adjustment? Hmmm ...

It's even less than 1 second -- they clocked you at 30:00.64 -- so the program rounded your time up to 30:01 -- so near and yet so far!

BTW they clocked Betsy Agnvall at exactly 29:59.96, so the program rounded her time up to 30:00.

If you hadn't had that little headwind on the way out ...
if you hadn't dodged around that 10K runner ...
so many ways to shave off 2 seconds ...
and the Time Machine was started exactly 5:00 late -- what if it was 5:01 late, or 5:02?

On the bright side, now you know you can run sub-29:59 on a good day with just a little more training. And maybe sub-29:00!

Congratulations on your award-winning finish!

Can I just say I heart this race? And this race director??!!

(But poor Betty!!!)

I started this blog in June 2005, and I can honestly say that I have been waiting since then to WIN MY AGE GROUP! And now I have! I have also been waiting since then to magically run a sub-30 5k.

So now, apparently, I have to run another one. Sigh.

Life is good people.

Training Tri Race Report

What's the difference between a a training tri and a non-training tri, you ask? When you find out let me know, because, except for a smaller size, lack of any swag, and no bike racks, it turns out you still gotta swim, bike, and run. I guess because it had the word "training" before it, I expected, oh, I dunno, maybe some help!

Alas, no.

D.C. Tri held a training tri last Sunday, the day after our epic 45.8 mile bike ride. I was so stoked from Saturday's festivities, I could not fall asleep 'til the wee hours. I think I got a solid four hours. Plus? When I woke up I was practically hemorrhaging (TMI? Sorry!)

So my mood was not the best when I arrived at Haine's Point at 6 a.m. The course: a 400 meter pool swim (CAKE!!! I can do this standing on my head!), a 16.8 mile three-loop bike ride (not so much cake!!), and a 5k (oh running, why do you hate me??) around the peninsula.

Transition was on a grassy median strip, and was very laid back. Bitching commenced at 6:05 sharp. My worry at that moment was having to run from the pool--in bare feet!--through the parking lot and across the street. The girl next to me pretty much told me to HTFU, and then she put a towel across her head, laid down and fell asleep until start time. A strategy I need to adopt!

For the swim, we had all estimated our times beforehand. I guessed 11 minutes. We got body marked in order of swim time, and got in line. You got in the pool in 20 second increments and swam 50 meters up one lane, down the OTHER SIDE of the same lane, ducked under the rope and did the same for the next 3 lanes until you reached the end, hauled ass out of the pool, and ran to transition.

So off I went on my first 50 meters, la-de-da, not so hard, is this?? When two chicks lapped me. No problem-o, go for it! About halfway down my 2nd 50 meters--BAM--head-on collision. I was sure I had hit the wall (literally), but no. No, no, no. It was another swimmer, starting his first lap--on the WRONG side of the lane. (I dunno, maybe he was English.) Sigh. It shook me up but no damage was done. And it gave me something else to be annoyed about for the next, oh, hour or so. Score.

At the swim start there were tons of people, volunteers, it was a busy place! At my swim exit, it was quiet. TOO QUIET. Like a morgue QUIET. I thought I was surely the last one out, that the volunteers had given up on me. But no. There was one stalwart who said, "you're O.K., go!" (Hmm, that's the name of a band!) Let's take a short musical interlude here:



Swim time: (Guesstimate) 11 minutes.

T1: 3:49

Bike: There was a strong headwind on the point but once you rounded it, it was, curiously, a tailwind! By the time I started, I could see bikes in the far distance. I was pretty much one loop behind everyone else. Soon, there were people running. I decided to say something encouraging to every runner I passed, which made me feel like a NICE person. As I started my third and last loop, I was starting to feel DISCOURAGED as I watched all my friends drop their bikes to head out on the run. One of them (Hi Jason!) called out to me "Push it, push it, push it!" so I hunkered down and pushed it, thanks to Jason.

Funny how it's the little things that can make a difference.

Bike: 16.8 miles 1:05:19 15.43 miles / hour

T2: :56

And then there was the little 5K. I noticed that the wind had died down. I noticed that there weren't that many runners I could see. OK, there were NO RUNNERS that I could see. There was however, one chick in front of me who was walking. I started my death-march shuffle and hoped she would not start running just so I could feel some kinda good by passing someone. Eventually she started running, and eventually I passed her. Score.

I have no idea why I start walking. I'm not winded, it's not like I'm running fast, and nothing hurts! It's the MOST ANNOYING THING. I had hoped to better my run time from my Philly tri, but I just stopped caring. Whatcha gonna do? A sweet girl started walking with me, and then she said, "You wanna finish this thing?" to which I replied, "Go ahead, I'm not ready to run," (HENCE THE NAME OF THIS BLOG). I tried to pick it up for the finish.

Run: 36:43 (11:50 min/miles)

I did not feel elated at the end. I felt "I'm hungry/I want to barf." I didn't feel so hot, which was a damn shame because there was another FANTASTIC D.C. Tri barbecue in full swing, with loads of goodies. I forced myself to eat a veggie burger (at 10 a.m.), and hung around waiting to see if barfing would commence (it did not) before finally deciding to head home.

Lessons:
1. A training tri is actually terrific training, and D.C. Tri puts on a great one.
2. They can't all be peak experiences, now can they?
3. If I was fast, then I wouldn't get to experience getting better.
4. I don't know why I felt so crappy. Lack of sleep? Long ride the day before? The whole bleeding to death thing?

I'm glad to have two tris under my belt before next Sunday, where my ONLY goal (I swear to God) is to HAVE FUN.

NBTR OUT!

It's a D.C. Fourth!

It's the annual July 4 Autism Speaks 5k:

2005: F48 566/709 28/34 34:41 11:10

2006: F49 474/728 21/37 32:42 10:31

2007: F50 614/883 14/26 32:18 10:23

2008: F51 936/1393 21/42 32:33 10:28

I'm amazingly consistent, I'll give me that.

This July 4 began the same as the last three: me shaking Number One Daughter out of a deep and restful sleep to go run a hilly 5k in 90F heat and 99 percent humidity.

I had no hopes this year for any sort of record, except maybe a PW. (Not true. Secretly I hoped I could place. It's fun being me!) I told NOD I was hoping for "under 36 minutes." How's that for setting the bar?

Last year D.C. Spinster paced me to a course PR. This year I was on my own. I wish I could say what it is about this miserable, hot, hilly race that compels me to tackle it each year. Cuz NOD would really like to know.

NOD and I started out together and she tried talking to me, but soon realized that talking is STRICTLY FORBIDDEN. She took off and I didn't see her 'til the finish.

The race starts with an uphill, but there are surprisingly more downhills than I remember. It weaves through the wide streets of chi-chi Potomac where there's a new McMansion every other house. The millionaires come out to watch, and some even turn on their sprinklers for us. There's a nice neighborhood feeling to this race, with lots of walkers in this race, and also lots of kids, which can be disheartening--if you're me. For a while I was behind one elderly gentleman who grunted loudly with every footfall. Which is SO AGAINST THE RULES. No sounds of misery allowed.

Well, I did set a record. I set a record for the most walking. I don't know why I can't remember that if I would just keep running, I might actually beat myself. I made 2 miles in 20 minutes flat, but then, as usual, the course started winning. Until the homestretch which is a nice long downhill, where I let it rip, and passed a few people. I have a nice finishing kick, if I do say so myself.

It was HOT.

After discovering that YET AGAIN I failed to win a medal (how OLD do I have to be?!?!), we went home and took naps.

Around 2 p.m. I was abruptly awakened by the phone and found myself talking to David who was in town for work. Too bad for the first 5 minutes of the conversation I thought he was another David.

We made plans to meet, and I ended up taking him to a VIP block party on Capitol Hill. You know, that place where all the movers and shakers live and work.
Capitol Hill: The seat of world power.

Poor guy has such a hard time fitting in.

We'd hadn't been there five minutes and he already had a job. Nice.

David and two chicks.

Later we trekked to the Iwo Jima Memorial and watched the fireworks through the rain while everyone screamed at the people in front to sit down, and the people in front screamed back, so then everyone had to stand. The land of the free!
My two BFFs!

Fireworks over the Washington Monument.

Another perfect fourth of July.

PR! PR! PR! PR!

Montgomery Country Road Runners Jan. 1, 2008 5K:
30:15 (pace: 9:46 min. mile)
(UPDATE: I can't stand it!!! You'll just have to bear with me.)
5/12 Jeanne McCann 50 Bethesda MD MCRRC 30:22 9:47 )

FIVE OUT OF 12!!! Not 11/12!!! Not 12/12!!!

Same race last year:
33:01 (10:38 min. mile)

My all-time 5K PR: GW Parkway Classic, April 23, 2006, a FLAT COURSE:
31:13 (10:03 min. miles)

To recap:

Today, Jan. 1, 2008, I ran a race where my average pace started with the number NINE.

9:46 min. miles

LET'S JUST ALL LET THAT NUMBER SINK IN FOR A WHILE.

This is the first time EVER I have EVER run a race where my pace started with something other than 10!!! I mean usually it's 11! If not 12!! I'm in the single digits people!!!

This race is small and free to club members. It's a double loop course. There's a pretty nice big long downhill in it, which you get to go down twice. Of course what goes down must go up.

I decided to throw caution to the wind and forget about conserving my energy and all that nonsense. I was gonna go out fast, and see what happened.

Mile 1: 9:23 (I KNOW! Don't ask me! I have no idea!!!)

Mile 2: 9:33 (Ditto!!)

Mile 3.11: 11:18 (Now we're back in more familiar territory.)

Notes:

This is the club that is RABID about no headphones, although of COURSE there were people running who were wearing headphones. $#@~!

This is the race where last year I barely kept up with an 8-year-old and his dad who was carrying a cup of coffee throughout the race.

This year, there was a 7-year-old girl dressed as tinkerbell. I had my eye on her, believe me.

This year I ran beforehand for 10 minutes to warm up. I was so hepped up by the time we got going, you would have thought I'd been doped.

Old School Runner was there, volunteering, taking photos, and cheering. It's so nice to hear your name called. I sped up whenever I saw him, funnily. Stick a camera on me and apparently I snap to.

This year, I felt stronger. I think that spinning and swimming have helped.

Of course it's not a race unless there is drama: As I was cruising toward the finish, not believing that the clock said 30:xx, I heard a man behind me yell, "Catch her! Catch her!", obviously not talking to me. I crossed the finish and as I did there was a girl at my elbow. Then she passed me in the chute, saying "You're hard to catch."

There are no chips at this race; instead you are given a card with the number on it as you exit in order of finish. So this girl got 175 and I got 176. Even though the reverse was the TRUE ORDER. Let the record reflect.

Thanks to Old School for coming out, volunteering, cheering and most of all, taking my picture!


I do believe that BOTH FEET are off the pavement! (Squinting will help you see this.)





And the obligatory butt shot.

Now for Something Completely Different

Go read this alternative account of my little July 4 5K.

It's so hard to be objective about oneself. Always nice to get a view from the outside.

OOPS: Link updated to the actual, correct link.

I CAN Run!

My trusty reliable coach, in a supreme sacrifice, gave up his own PR and paced me to a race PR in today's challenging and HILLY CAN (Cure Autism Now) 5k.

I've done this race three years in a row, so it's great to see progress:

2005: AGE:48
TIME: 34:41 (11:10/min. miles)

2006: AGE:49
TIME: 33:42 (10:51)

July 4, 2007, AGE: 50
TIME: 32:18 (10:24)

Peter was a great pacer. I felt like Lance at NYC. He gave me a running (ha) supply of tips like "lengthen your stride," and "pump your arms" on the uphills, and "glide" on the downhills, and my personal favorite, "relax."

I grunted and said things like "Story!" which, translated, meant: tell me a story to take my mind off this. And he complied, talking about his recent relay doing 10 miles straight uphill at high altitude at Lake Tahoe. He was, however, forbidden from saying the "h" word. We don't say "hills." Ever. Got it?

He did insist on no headphones though. And you know what? That was actually nice. It does tend to make one focus.

Things were going swell the first two miles. Piece of cake! And then, eh, I had to walk a few times. But I do think I ran up every hill. And the finish is a lovely long beautiful downhill.

I still thought I would croak, throw up or pass out at the finish. (Number One Daughter accuses me of being "such a dramatic finisher." As if.) NOD also ran this morning, but gave strict instructions that we were NOT allowed to talk to her or say "good job" to or acknowledge her in any way whatsoever on the course, not even, she said, "If I pass out"). She told me afterwards that she saw me shoving little kids out of my way and that I remminded her of George Costanza trying to get out of the burning apartment. Funny, I don't remember doing any such thing.

Damn kids!

Peter has the official splits, but he said they were something like:
9:55
10:02
12:20 (ugh)

And for more comparison, (it's all about the numbers) I looked up the only other 5k I did this year, on New Year's Day, with zero training, and fewer hills:

33:01 (10:38 min. mile)

So, even though this wasn't a lifetime PR (that would be the George Washington Parkway Classic 5k in 2006: 31:08 (10:08)) I AM SO TAKING IT!

My advice is: Everyone needs a good pacer!

And, there's more! NOD got herself a PR of: 29:40 (9:33 min. mile)! Her time last year: 32:14 (10:22).

So there's some strange exchange taking place between me and NOD as I had practically the same time this year as she did last year. Hmm.

I'm off to the beach for two days of craziness. Yoga classes. Sleeping. Reading. You know, my usual hijinks.



Thanks Peter!