So, I hope everyone finally got the obtuse little joke in my last post ... If you didn't, well, you've never been there, so don't worry about it!
To the rest of y'all who expressed worries: don't worry. Everything is peachy keen. I'm running ... but nobody said I had to love it, did they?? Alrighty then! Running is kind of like dating a bad boyfriend: you keep going back for more, because there's the occasional positive reinforcement. I just thought I'd list all the reasons I could think of that day that I love running, and well, that was the result. A bit of running humor. Hee.
Moving on. I would like to devote today's entry to a little-publicly-discussed running malady: chaffing. Specifically: Boob chafing. Oh you can find plenty about chafing in general on the Internet, always accompanied by the instructions that Body Glide (brought to you by the people who invented chafing) is the answer to all your chafing problems. I'm here to tell you: it ain't so.
A quick google search turned up mainly tips for men (shocker), along with the occasional x-rated site. (So tough to get those search terms right!) Where ARE ALL THE POSTS on women's chafed breasts from running? WHERE?
Now, my "girls" are good sized, but not huge. Not like freakishly huge. Not insubstantial though either. I wear this bra from Title Nine Sports Title Nine rates their bras with little barbells (so cute!): one barbell=no support (why bother?); 2=some support; 3=more support; 4=those girls aren't going anywhere. (They even have 4+ barbells bras. I shudder to think.) The Frog bra is a 4-barbell-er. The Frog bra is not so good in the lift and separate department; it's more of a mush them things down so they couldn't move if they wanted to. Wear the Frog bra and your girls aren't going anywhere. I wore it all thru marathon training last year, in the height of summer humidity, through long runs where I was SOAKED to the bone in sweat, and the worst that happened was some chafing along where the band is. And yes, I always wore bodyglide.
This year, my longest run to date has been 90 minutes. In 50 degrees (F). And afterwards? Eeee-oooouccch. (OK, this is gross, but somebody has to talk about it!) I had two lovely sores on the undersides of each, um, boob. Not where the band hits but right on the boob itself!! Like oozing sores! GROSS!
My BFF, a. maria, told me I needed to step up my defenses. She recommended this treatment: Throw out the bodyglide. Then, apply a layer of deoderant to the critical areas, and then a layer of vaseline.
Oh the humanity.
So I did that for this morning's 6-miler. Hard to tell whether it worked or not, since I'm still recovering from the damage I did on Monday.
My challenge to you: bring those girls out into the light! Let's share our remedies for this irritating problem, and demand that someone come up with a cure! They can put a man on the moon; they can solve boobular chafing. In fact, there should be a run devoted to raising money to solve this problem. (I'll have to look into that.)
Tomorrow I'll be running the George Washington Parkway 5k; the first race I ever ran back in 1999. After which I did no running for five years. So, I'll set a PR for that race at least. And, I'll be running with the blisters from hell on both bunions, and the impaired boobs (hey, at least I'm symmetrical!)
Next up: We are breaking free of the tyranny of weight, and the scale. (Maybe.)