The Coldest Half-Marathon Ever

Texas Half Marathon, (somewhere in Dallas), January 30, 2010, age 52
2:36:34, 11:57 min./mile (7/15)

It started innocently enough.

"We should go somewhere warm in January, " I said to Number One Daughter back in November '09.

"Yay!," she retorted. "I know, let's run a half-marathon with Runner Susan! Down South! In Texas! Where it's warm!"

"Deal!"

So, off we went to meet the inimitable Runner Susan, whom I have known virtually, for, well, I don't know how long I've known her. (I just searched my gmail, and the earliest e-mail from her is April 2006. I think we first started getting to know each other when she wrote for CompleteRunning (a site I used to edit, which is sadly, now dormant).)

Susan is a highly talented writer and Web designer, and just the funniest and funnest friend I had never met.

Anywho, so NOD and I booked a trip and down to Dallas we went, expecting, well, WARM.

As in HEAT.

Cuz last time I looked, TEXAS was a bit further SOUTH than say, Boston. Or Maine. Or even D.C.

We got to Dallas airport at 11 p.m.-ish, and darling Susan was there to pick us up. Right before we got to her car, I whispered to Deirdre, "Oh what if this is awkward??"

Cuz you know...we had NEVER met. It could be the worst, longest, and most expensive blind date in my checkered dating history.

Two seconds after climbing into the Soozemobile, though, it was just like coming home.

Like we'd known each other for ages. Like we were reuniting after not seeing each other since high school (where I would have been her teacher, since she's a few years cough younger than I am).

But anyway, the point is: It was easy.

Susan is delightful. Her family is delightful. Specifically, her CHEF is delightful.

NOD, Chef. They are tight.

We stayed with Susan Friday through Sunday, and somewhere in the middle there, Susan and I ran the Coldest Half-Marathon ever (AKA the Texas Freaking Half-Marathon).

I have seriously never been so cold in my life. And I'm from New England. I've lived in Boston. I know from cold.

The course wound around what I'm sure is a lovely scenic lake at some time of the year.

A lake.

With water in it.

That somehow generated wind.

That blew in my face.

Constantly.

As I ran in a circle.

Which meant?

The wind was changing direction just to mess with me.

Number One Daughter ran into some trouble with her training (as in: forgot to do it), so ran the 5k instead. She brought this guy with her.



And here's how she did:
13/25 in females 20-25, 21:15.

(Well, so say the results anyway, and we know they never lie.)

And then there was moi.

Did I mention I was cold??

The race announcer said afterwards that with the windchill the temperature was -2° Fahrenheit (-18.88° Celsius).

By mile 2 I was in serious face pain, which was good because it took my mind off the cramp in my right calf. I was (as always!) contemplating a DNF.

Susan and I started together but she took off after, oh, 2 minutes, and I didn't see her again until mile 11 when she passed me heading toward the finish, while I headed on a dogleg away from it, yelling, "You're almost there," the universal lie reviled by all racers. Susan, seriously??

Somehow, don't ask me how, I managed to will myself around that freaking lake. I had my iPod and listened to two episodes of This American Life.

The crowd was small and I was quickly at the back, but surprisingly, I was not alone. And I wasn't last!!

I lurched from mile to mile, just willing myself through.

At mile 7, the cramp in my calf started screaming. I stopped and stretched. And then carried on.

Cuz that's how we roll.

We had many other adventures, involving taking 100,000 photos, clothes, shopping, wine, a total makeover, eating, and clothes, but that will have to wait for another day.

Old friends, bookends.

Final time:

7. Texas Half Marathon, January 30, 2010, age 52
2:36:34, 11:57 min./mile (7/15)

6. Fredericksburg Blug Gray Half, Dec. 13, 2009, age 52
02:42:10 12:22 min./mile (19/19)

5. Fredericksburg Blue Gray Half, Dec. 15, 2008, age 51
2:28:43 11:21 min./mile (10/10)

4. National Half, March 29, 2008 age 51
2:31:57 11:36 min./mile (48/53)

3. Fredericksburg Blue Gray Half, Dec. 9, 2007 age 50
2:34:26 11:47/min (8/9)

2. Philadelphia Distance Run, September 16, 2007 age 50
2:38:06 12:04 min./mile (221/303)

1. Parks Half Marathon, September 24, 2006 age 49
2:38:15 12:05 min./mile (55/64)

Texas-Bound

I'm off to Dallas to visit Runner Susan, go shopping, drink wine, get a Runner-Susan makeover, drink more wine, visit the hot tub, then drive to Austin for a haircut (no, seriously), visit Little Miss Runner Pants, and, oh why not, find love.

Oh yes, and run.

Stay out of trouble while I'm gone.

I hear they like big hair in Texax.

Is This Thing On?

I joined Team Z. I am all IN for Eagleman. IN!

I joined (and went to first workout!) the Montgomery County Road Runners Speed Development Clinic, which I also did last year. It's a b***-buster, but it works.

I signed up for (and went to class #1) on "Writing the Personal Essay."

So. Is this what mania feels like??

(And just for the record, I am not now, nor have I ever been, nor will I ever be, involved with the gentleman below. He's just some arm candy, people. It is entirely possible, however, that there is a crush going on in my life. I am too much of a lady to say more.)

I am also IN TRAINING to meet Runner Susan on Jan. 30 (not so much in training for the half-mary we're doing.) Training for the RS event mainly involves drinking lots of wine, which I have well under control. I am also in training for the sidetrip to Austin to see Little Miss Runnerpants. I'm not sure what I should be doing for that. Brushing up on my karaoke skills??

Blogland is a wonderful place!

I am off to New York City for the weekend.

Things are looking up.

I am in love with this song. I want to marry it.

Take Your Skirt Off, Cancel Your Manicure, and HTFU

Not only am I not running, I am also not swimming, and not biking.

I am, however, doing copious amounts of dips:



and when I say "copious," I mean, well, 10. OK, 15, now up to 20.

Cuz...well...

It's cold outside.

I quit my gym.

I have a bike trainer, but it's broken.

My favorite running trail looks like this most days:


and my other favorite trail looks like this:


How did I manage in prior years?? Did I just HTFU?

As to swimming ... um, I have no excuse as to why I'm not swimming.

After my sad half-mary, I took 14 days off to recover. I am quite sure this is not a recommended recovery plan.

But just yesterday, I kicked my own ass and ran 3 miles, after 21st C. Mom strongly suggested it. Which is good, because, let's not forget, I have yet another half-mary scheduled for Jan. 30 in the great state of Runner Susan.

And not only that, did I mention that in all the commotion of last fall, somehow, someway I managed to sign up for this??

Eagleman Half-Ironman. 1.2 miles of swimming fun, 56 miles of biking fun (that part might actually BE fun) and 13.1 miles of running fun)

Which is June 30 (165 short days from today).

I'm just not into it.

I mean really. Not. Into. It.

I want to take up knitting. Or reading. Or baking. Needlepoint! Raising orchids. Raising guppies. Something that doesn't require, you know, sweating.

This is how I'm feeling at the moment.

My current ennui might be in part due to the fact that I'm not training with anyone. I'm not in any group. I've been training alone since September. It turns out? That is not so much fun.

So, I've once again signed up for the Montgomery County Road Runners Speed Development Program. That was a great motivator last year, even though it wasn't the most welcoming group of people. It still got me all kinds of PRs. So hope springs eternal.

And I'm trying to decide what to do about training for this insane 70.3 distance.

I adore D.C. Tri Club, as you know. And they even have a half-iron training program. But...really, there's no one who is at my speed in that group. And that gets discouraging after a while. There's another, way pricier group here in D.C., Team Z, that has a lot of success with folks like me. (I'm not sure why, but some people seem hesitant to recommend these guys, even though everyone I know who has trained with them just LOVES them.) It's about $80/month, and I'm quite sure they will help me get the job done.

So why am I hesitating??

Because I am not all in for Eagleman.

I'm just not.

I'm wavering.

I could still cancel.

I don't even know if I'd get my money back.

I just don't know if I can commit to the kind of training I'll need to do.

I need a bike trainer that works.

I need to feel more comfortable riding outside on my own.

I need to get better at swimming.

Right...but why am I hesitating??

What to do??

2009 Blue Gray Half-Marathon Race Report

Fredericksburg Blue Gray Half, Dec. 13, 2009, age 52
02:42:10 12:22 min./mile

You placed 526 of 557 runners, 236 of 258 Female runners and 19 of 19 in the Women's 50-54 division.

It was the worst of times...it was yeah, the worst of times.

Race day dawned with temps hovering around 35F, the kind of raw cold, gray day with a steady nonstop rain that there is just no escaping and that seeps deep into the bones. Not an invigorating cold, no. More like a pull-the-covers-up-and-put-pillow-over-head-cold.

Well, it could have been worse (it can always be worse). It could have been windy.

I wore my usual Emma Peel outfit: black tights, black turtleneck, blue vest, and then ruined the whole thing by topping it with a yellow rain jacket. I hate running in a rain jacket. I overheat, I hate the way it feels, and I hate the swishy noise it makes. But turns out it was a wise choice since it rained nonstop for the 2 1/2+ hours it took me to finish this bad boy.

Ms. Emma Peel of the Avengers

The race starts with a two-mile fairly rapid descent, followed by a flat mile, followed by a slight uphill, followed by sort of flat until mile 6 where it's another uphill, run around an athletic field and retrace. That nice rapid descent turns into a motherf$#@$^r uphill that if I knew anything about hill grading, I could tell you what it's graded at, but I don't, so I'll just say if I were riding a bike, I would have had to get off and walk.

The hill starts at mile 11 and ends around mile 12 1/2. Did I mention it's a motherf$#@$^r??

I spent the night at the lovely Susie and David's (Susie was one of the original bloggers from the Running Blog Family (for those of you who are new to this sport (I mean the sport of blogging); you should totally go read her archives):

Susie, David, Beau

I drove to Fredericksburg late Saturday afternoon, after a loooong day of swimming, boozing, and general girls-gone-wildness at the off-season triathlon, which quite possibly may not be the best preparation for a half-marathon.

And since we seem to have drifted into the EXCUSE portion of this broadcast, let's carry on, and add as another possibly-less-than-optimal pre-race strategy: not sleeping.

My detox from Klonapin is still going on (nope, not off it yet), and one of the less pleasant side effects is insomnia. If I manage to fall asleep, like clockwork I am bolt upright an hour later. I was wide awake by 3 a.m. the morning of the race, and it wasn't from nerves, cuz I wasn't nervous. (I did have a fascinating dream starring Thomas the Rubbish Marathoner, involving my underwear and...well nevermind. He's a married man! But it was pretty funny.)

Some other fun side effects: dizziness, feeling off-balance, legs feel detached. It really does kind of blow.

And still another factor is heart-rate training, which I started doing this fall. But this race is only the sixth time I've run with a heart-rate monitor, ever, so I'm guessing the training part of heart-rate training has not really had time to kick in.

I knew going into this race, given my long-run times, that it would not be a PR. I really didn't think it would be such a PW. I mean, this was slower than my slowest half-mary ever, which I practically walked and skipped through.

So, I told myself to treat it like a training run, and as such, was prepared to try to stay in Z2. To refresh:

Z2: 149-158 (basic endurance)
Z3: 159-169 (stay out of)
Z4: 170-180 (lactate threshold, pace you can hold for 60-75min)

I knew by mile 3 it wasn't going to be a good day. Even the downhill was hard, I couldn't get into a groove, I couldn't see (rain and fogged up glasses), and I was cranky and unsettled. I couldn't stay in Z2 but couldn't get into Z4. Dehydration? Detox? Desleep? You decide.

1: 10:45 (HR 150)
2: 10:33 (HR 159)
3: 11:14 (HR 167)
4: 11:48 (HR 164)
5: 12:20 (HR 165)
6: 12:30 (HR 165)
7: 13:03 (HR 168)
8: 12:00 (HR 168)
9: 12:18 (HR 172)
10: 13:29 (HR 168) (2:00:05)
11: 12:44 (HR 172)
12: 15:07 (HR 172)
13: 12:37 (HR 179)
.1: 2:10 (HR 180)

I was in the stupid zone the entire way. Lots of effort, no payoff. Not recommended!

I was a block of ice at the end. I'm still cold. I skipped whatever "festivities" there were at the finish, and just grabbed a cup of hot tomato soup (instead of a victory beer, like last year). Susan and David hustled me into their nice warm car, which I proceed to drench. I shivered my way into their house, jumped into a burning hot shower where I watched my body turn various shades of red, and then we all shuffled off to the thing that kept me going when I really wanted to quit: french toast at Amy's of Fredericksburg. And then drove the 60 miles back to d.c. where I sat in a boiling hot tub for a few more hours.

Why do I do these things again????

For you history buffs:

5. Fredericksburg Blue Gray Half, Dec. 15, 2008, age 51
2:28:43 11:21 min./mile (10/10) Victoire!

4. National Half, March 29, 2008 age 51
2:31:57 11:36 min./mile (48/53)

3. Fredericksburg Blue Gray Half, Dec. 9, 2007 age 50
2:34:26 11:47/min (8/9)

2. Philadelphia Distance Run, September 16, 2007 age 50
2:38:06 12:04 min./mile (221/303)

1. Parks Half Marathon, September 24, 2006 age 49
2:38:15 12:05 min./mile (55/64)

Annual Off-Season Triathlon: Not for the Faint of Heart

I forgot to mention, in my last post, that I have an event in between now and Sunday's half-mary.

It's not for the weak of heart.

It's the

SECOND ANNUAL OFF-SEASON TRIATHLON!

The event begins at 9:00 am with a marathon swim session at the Wilson Pool where workouts will be provided depending on how long you want to swim...T1 is a quick change in the Wilson Locker Room and a caravan down the block...workout #2 involves brunch at Cafe Ole (http://www.cafeoledc.com/) ...T2 will be heading up the block to Envy Nails for workout #3: $30 mani/pedi's (or just one of the 2.)

signed,
Your friends in Spandex,
Julia and Karen
AKA, Your Local Organizing Committee
Fine print:
For planning purposes: this is all really close to the Tenleytown Metro stop.
The distance between the pool and brunch is 1 mile. You can probably walk if the weather is ok, or you can move your car. We won't judge you. The distance between the restaurant and nail salon is .4 miles. If you try to drive that distance, then we're all making fun of you. Especially if you are an Ironman.

(Oh, my ass they won't judge!)

How fun is this?? Do I know the most fun people on the planet, or what??

But I must offer one critique: Only three events? That's sissy talk.

I'm going iron.

I'm throwing in a wax.

I Guess I Should Write Something Now About Running*

*Or, (title courtesy the lovely Coach Michele Buckley):
"How to Pass Out Naked in Your Office"

Next up, our intrepid heroine tackles the Blue-Gray Half Marathon, Sunday, Dec. 13, 7:30 a.m., departing from the now defunct (the blog not the person) Finally Running Susan's and David's lovely house.

OK, maybe it's technically true I have run a few half-marathons before. Technically.

I think Sunday will be my 7th half. And the question that remains is: WHY?? WHY DO I TORMENT MYSELF LIKE THIS?

Sigh.

My last long run was Saturday, 11 miles. I started out at 7:30 in the cold and rain, having left my rain jacket home. I realized the minute I got in the car that a) it was raining, and b) my rain jacket was upstairs. How is it possible to be lazy when you're about to run 11 miles? I have no idea, but I was too lazy to stop the car and go back upstairs to get my rain jacket, so I ran the first 5.5 miles in the increasingly heavy rain. I was C-O-L-D, but cold usually works for me and this was no exception. I made some decent time, but more important, I was able to stay in the lovely zone two of my heart rate training without a lot of walking.

After the turnaround, it got cold. Maybe high 30s. I was wet and cold and heading into the wind.

And then all of a sudden, someone shook the snow globe and I was running in a winter wonderland.

And just like that, I didn't hate running anymore.

If only I knew which switch to flip so that I could control this process!

I finished my run in 2:10 (the previous week I did 10 miles in 2:07), staggered into my office and tried to change my wet clothes. My fingers were completely numb. They absolutely would not cooperate. Somehow I managed to struggle out of my running bra and wet turtleneck, and then sat in front of my space heater AT MY DESK shivering when all of a sudden the room started spinning..and yep, down I went.

Imagine coming in early Saturday to catch up on a spot of work only to be greeted by that scene??

Have mercy.

In light of The Troubles, my goal for Sunday is to finish (bar too high?? ya think??) I don't think a PR is realistic this go-round, but that's ok. Frankly, I will be thrilled if I cross the finish line anywhere close to 2:30.



(A huge thank you to all of you for your support. You guys are too much.)

Fear

"We are all nervous to try because we are all afraid we might fail."

I wrote these very words last week in an e-mail to a friend; I was trying to diagnose her stuck-ness. (In my other career apparently I'm a psychiatrist.) And, being extremely well acquainted with stuck-ness, and all 'round aimlessness, and its cousins procrastination and insecurity, I took a wild-ass guess at what might be lurking behind the scenes: Fear.

It's the thing we're all afraid of!

Is the whole world wandering around in a state of fear?

How did we get like this?? OK, how did I get like this?

And what exactly am I afraid of?

The usual things, I guess. Success. Failure. Pain. Ridicule. Not measuring up. Conflict.

But it all boils down to rejection. I'm afraid that I'm not lovable. Period. END OF STORY.

Which is kind of stupid (also afraid of looking stupid).

Because really.

Most people are kind. Most people are not out to get other people, right? (RIGHT??!) Most people are too busy worrying about their own insecurities. It helps to remember this. It helps me remember that the important part of life is (to paraphrase St. Francis) not so much making sure you are loved, as making sure you remember to love.

Sigh. St. Francis. I know where to set the bar!

Some of you know I have HAD a little problem with anxiety, for which I take this:
Klonopin

I've spent my life being afraid, but I have also spent my life doing things in spite of my fears. It's a bold and brave way to live. It's really the only way to live.

I'm faced with some new things at the moment, and they are kind of scary. I find myself thinking more often about my own and others' mortality. I figure, if I'm lucky (or unlucky, depends on your perspective), maybe I have another 40 years here on earth. And I don't intend to spend them living in fear.

So, I'm tapering off Klonopin. I've been doing this for months, and I can tell you it's no picnic. After I decided to quit, I learned that Klonopin is highly addictive. So, yes, it turns out I'm an addict.

I'm experiencing, and have been experiencing, a lot of side effects from tapering, including racing thoughts, insomnia, impaired vision, obsessions, and this weird-ass thing where I can't quite feel my legs when I run—I think they call it depersonalization? I dunno. I also often feel like I'm looking at myself as an observer (don't I sound fun to be with??!)

(I'll add the usual disclaimer here that I am not suggesting that I have any idea what is right for anyone else when it comes to psychotropic drugs. I don't.)

I'm ready to experience the discomfort of fear and anxiety full-on. I know I'm a stronger person now, a much happier person now, than I was when I started taking this stuff.

All I can tell you is that this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to face. But, on the up side, I'm confident I can get through it, and I'm willing to take the time I need to get through it.

I'm ready to face life without a shield.

I'll let you know how it goes.

A Girl's Guide to VO2 Max

Since I've been running around all weekend bragging that I just got my VO2 max tested, the people I've been bragging to have (naturally) asked me to explain what the hell I'm talking about.

Err..."It's a test where you find out how well your body uses oxygen and then you get heart rate targets for different kinds of runs."

So, let's let Ken Mierke at Fitness Concepts, give it a shot:

Maximal aerobic capacity or VO2 Max, the amount of oxygen consumed in one minute of maximal aerobic exercise, is widely considered the standard test for aerobic conditioning. Improving VO2 Max is a crucial step in maximizing endurance performance in any event lasting four minutes or longer. The higher an athlete’s VO2 Max, the greater the contribution of the aerobic system to energy production. This translates into greater endurance at any intensity

There. Got it??

The test involves a 15 minute warm-up on the treadmill (or the bike trainer, depending which activity you want to get training rates for) followed by the donning of a strange, claustrophobia-inducing mask, followed by Ken fiddling with controls and every few minutes leaning over and upping the treadmill speed for about 15 minutes until you want to throw up and keel over.

And then you go for 3 more minutes after that.

Eh, it wasn't so bad. The worst part was that my pals (hi Casey!) kept chatting to Ken, and he would look away from ME ME ME, and I was terrified that he would miss some critical piece of info and I would have to start ALL. OVER.

But never fear: The man is a professional.

A group of us went: Three got tested while running and two while on the bike.

Afterwards, we sat around (posing) while Ken tabulated the results.






The funniest thing was that we all wanted to know how we compared to each other, and how we compared to ... I don't know, the world, I guess. So my actual VO2 max is 36.5.

What do it mean??

Ken kept emphasizing that these results are a snapshot of our bodies, and they are only useful as a training tool. But we are all so conditioned to needing to know if we are fast or slow, or fat or thin, taller or shorter, stronger or weaker than the next guy, that we kept asking Ken everywhichway what these results said about us, individually.

Were they good?

So Ken finally parted with the tidbit that the average VO2 max for women is 28. So yay, I'm better than average. Other than that, I really don't know what good or bad is, although my rational brain tells me if YOUR zone 2 heart rate is lower than mine, yet your pace is faster, then obviously your heart and oxygen systems must be in better shape. But that way lies madness.

Better to just do what the man tells me:



We all got nice fat books explaining what everything means, but Ken broke it down for us. He said we really only need to worry about zones 2, 4 and 5b.

Zone 2 is basic endurance, where you are burning more fat than sugar. (That was pretty much all I need to know.) If you run faster than your (your) zone 2 heart rate, say during long runs, you are not burning fat, and you will not be able to eat french toast afterwards without paying the price.

Zone 4 is your lactate threshold and I don't really know what it means but I like slinging the words around. It makes me feel very runner-y. This is the heart rate at which you do tempo runs.

Zone 5b: Well, I don't like the sound of this, for good reason. It's called the Aerobic Capacity Training zone. This sounds suspiciously like speedwork to me. Ken warns that Zone 5 training carries a high cost and a high benefit, and that a little goes a long way.

Ken says the most common mistake people make is running too fast for the type of run they are doing, thereby expending too much energy, tapping into the wrong fuel source, and not reaping the benefits.

(Please feel free to correct my gross misinformation and oversimplification in the comments. But don't take away my french toast.)

All in all, it was a most pleasant way to spend a Saturday morning, not including the phone call I got in the middle of all this from Number One Daughter, telling me that she had spun out getting on the Beltway and a not-very-nice cop gave her a ticket! My little girl! (She was fine, the car was fine. Thank God.)

But I digress.

I haven't started heart rate training yet, but I'm buying a used Garmin 305 this week ($100, in original package). Somehow I think this will make me magically faster and thinner. I'll be sure to let you know how that works out.

Meantime, enjoy some more pix from our photo shoot:

I'm pretty sure I heard Casey ask for a cigarette.

Becky: "If I close my eyes really tight, I will see unicorns."

Bronwen is just fast. Like insanely fast.

Shelly about to descend.

Et moi, keeping it real.

Baby It's Cold Outside

I love this time of year. The leaves are still on the trees here in D.C., but falling freely. The air is crisp. It smells like Thanksgiving, woodsmoke, and fresh starts, overlaid with a hint of winter.

What I don't love is trying to figure out what to wear for early morning runs, when the temps can range from the 30s (F) to the low 50s.

You think I would know by now, but I don't.

Lucky for me, I have this handy-dandy temperature chart (Excel file), from a post on dressing for winter running by blogger Joe Ely, over at my old pasttime, CompleteRunning.com.

The chart tells you what you need to wear for temps ranging from 63F to <10F. Of course you can customize it to suit your preferences, but I think Joe pretty much nailed it.

I downloaded this chart when it was first posted back in 2006, and it has saved me from having to think many times over.

And that my friends, is always a good thing.

Hope it helps you.