Walkers of the World, Unite

I am here to tell you that you are misunderstood and unappreciated. Walking is hard! Walking is quite a workout! Walking is as hard as running. Since April 22 I've walked: 95.1 miles, at an average pace of 15:32/mile and it's practically killed me. So rock on, walkers, is all I have to say. You need to unionize! Or at least get a song!

Today was the Big Day. And in case you haven't guessed by now, or haven't read it yet in the New York Times, I got the all clear to walk, run, skip rope, swim, bike, spin, lift weights, and stand on my head if I want. Even all at once!

Upon hearing this news, I immediately contacted TEAM JEANNE for advice, before I did something idiotic.

And the TEAM of TEAM JEANNE gave these stellar instructions:

Go out for an EASY one-mile run today. Walk one or two miles to cool down. Walk on Friday. Plan your next EASY SHORT run for Saturday, maybe 1.2 to one and a quarter miles with a cool down walk. Run Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday next week. Nothing far (one and a half to two miles max) fast or strenuous.

Which, after much pondering and serious study, I translated this way:

Go out for an a really fast hard one-mile run today. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Woot!

I laced up the PF Flyers and hit the trail with much anticipation and loads of trepidation. Running, pfft, it looks so easy! How hard could it be?

So today I did this:
Mile 1, walk: 27,000 minutes (16:53 (including long traffic stop))

Mile 2, run (are ya ready??): 9:43
NINE FORTY THREE!!!

Mile 3, walk: 400,000 minutes (17:08 (long traffic stop))

Woot, I say again!

Of course I was ready to die after mile 2. I'll be good from now on, I promise. I have a long, long way to go. Actually, I don't need to promise, because if I'd had to run three feet more, I would have collapsed in a heap. The last time I ran was March 17, 11 long long weeks ago. Somehow I have managed not to gain any weight in the interim (walking!), but things were jiggling that I didn't remember jiggling before. I am starting over. And I have goals and plans and Big Things to accomplish!

Oh, and the other news? The operation was a success! And the patient lived!

And as if THAT weren't enough good news for one day, I got this e-mail from my condo manager about that little situation with my upstairs neighbors:

Hi Jeanne,

I found the original letter, written to the owner in November of 2005. Apparently, he had repairs done by unlicensed contractors at some point, which resulted in a violation. I will send a copy of this letter to him, along with a new violation letter, tomorrow. In it I will state that he has ten days to make repairs, or we will do it for him. He will also be called before the board for a hearing if he doesn't comply.

I'll send you a copy of the letter, and then please let me know within ten days or so if anything has transpired.
Thanks!

Woot! I just hope my place hasn't been burned down by the time I get home.

It's all good people. Life is really a ... no not a box of chocolates, a string of ups and downs. At least that's what the people at the psychiatric clinic told me. After they handed me my meds.

Now, I would like to leave you with an inspirational video. This character never failed to inspire me over the years, and I hope he does the same for you.

It Always Evens Out in the End

Just like in that Seinfeld episode....

...after Jerry claims that his life always seem to be able to even itself out, Elaine tests his theory by throwing $20 out the window.

Today I walked my fastest mile ever, because I had a nice rabbit in front of me and I was damned and determined to overtake him. So we had a thang going for a while.

But.

I won.

Here are the numbers:

Mile 1: 14:58
Mile 2: 14:43
Mile 3: 13:44

(Yes those are minutes per MILE.) And that's my very very first sub-14-minute-walking mile!

As I smoked this guy, who was about five seconds behind me, and who had been glancing over his shoulder for the past two miles to watch as I stuck to him like glue, finally passing him in the last 1/2 mile, we both laughed, and I said, "Dang, you're fast!"

And he said: "So are you!"

(And Number One Daughter, now home from college, also out on the trail, said "Mom, remember when you could barely run that pace?" Yes, indeed I do!)

So, take that, roller-blading lady!

I'm fast!

At something!

Finally!

"I'm Probably Even Slower Than Her"

This, THIS is what I get for going headphone-less.

Being privy to snide comments.

About me!!!

So that's what I got to hear today on the trail, while I was busy busting my ass—with no headphones—cuz I'm tryin' that, too, and btw? it blows—trying to break 15-min miles walking. Do you people have any idea how hard that is?!?! Give me four miles in under an hour. I double-dog dare you to try it. Triple-dog.

So anyway, I'm walking along, minding my own business, trying to catch the moms with the strollers and the old lady in front of me, and the guy on the gurney hooked up to the oxygen, when this women on roller blades slows and says to the roller-blade dude behind her, "Go around me, I'm slow. I'm probably even slower than her," with a nod in my direction.

Ha, ha, I say. Cuz I'm nice that way. What I want to say? Is, listen lady, I just had my wee-wee worked on, and I'm not allowed to run, OK? I'm not allowed to do anything but walk, but I used to be able to run, but now it's going on eight weeks of no running, but I was almost getting close to being not horrible just before I had to quit, so why don't you just take that stick out... nevermind.

Instead, I say: ha ha.

I can't wait 'til I can run cuz I am gonna seriously kick a few people's asses!

In the meantime: Have a nice day.

Down But Not Out

There's been so much commotion lately about the big Rise and Shine contest (two thoughts on the results: it's the first time I've ever placed! and, always a bridesmaid...) that I haven't brought y'all up to speed on the state of my err, delicate medical condition.


The state is this:

I saw the doctor last Thursday for my six-week post-op "you're-all-healed-and-ready-to-run-now" check-up, and she said, and I quote, "No running for you for six more weeks. No aerobics of any kind. Blah blah blah blah blah."

We must not have been reading the same brochures.

After much back-and-forth, I bargained her down to a four-week follow-up visit so that she could check the state of the union.

So, I felt sorry for myself, re-started my countdown counter, over there--------->, and am back to walking. So far this week: four miles on Sunday and Monday. (Do you people have ANY IDEA how long it takes to walk four miles?!?! Walkers, I have a new respect for you!!)

Other new things I am now allowed to do: WALK on the treadmill at an incline, and I may do sit-ups. (I may. And in fact, should.)

And that, my friends, is that.


Except...

In the spirit of unbridled optimism, for which I am well known, I signed up for this, Oct. 7.

Walking Towards Running

There is no contest: Walking is easier than running (for me). There is no fear associated with it, I don't have to talk myself into it, it's relatively easy, and, the best gift: there is no pressure to perform. I've walked 2 miles a day three days this week, and plan to walk every day, gradually increasing the time and mileage.

The rewards are tremendous. You're outside, you're free, it's free, you can do it in ANY kind of weather, even in the worst winds, if properly dressed. You can evesdrop on people's conversations. You get to pass people! You notice the little changes in the flora and fauna. You see wildlife! (One bunny, one deer.) I have no concern whatsoever for my pace! Um, OK that last one is actually a lie.

My first two walks clocked in at 17:30 min miles. Yesterday, I did 16:00 min. miles.

Who says I'm competitive?

UPDATE: Speaking of competitive, check out Thomas' account of his first ultra. Thomas is a riveting writer, and includes such details as him running up the "Devil's Kill Me Now" hill, and many other descriptions of Irish places with fanciful, and terrifying, names. He finished in the time it takes me to lace up my shoes. Thomas, you're amazing!

Baby Steps

Dear Diary,

Today I went for a walk. It took 35 minutes, and I was soooooooooo proud of myself, singing, "you go, girlfriend!" the whole way. I just WALKED three miles in .... um... 35 minute ... wait a minute! That can't be right!"

I am such a dunderhead, Diary, it was only two miles. Believe you me, Diary, walking is not as easy as it looks! But I know I can do it, because I believe in myself! And because my BWF (Best WALKER Friend!) Anita, told me about this site were they actually teach you how to walk. And it has a good schedule on it so I don't do too much, witch you know me, that's just what wood happen!! So, Thank you Walker Fiend!

I was sooooooooooooo happy to get back on the trail, and I listened to the Christmas episode (I know, I know! I am sooooo far behind, Diary!) of the Ricky Gervais show. That's the episode where they read from Karl's diary about the mad women next door and Karl's father who cut the mattress in half because it didn't fit, and Karl's Uncle Alf who slept in a dinghy. "It's like you live in a nursery rhyme!," Mr. Gervais said. I don't know why people were looking that way at me, just because my hair was a little sloppy, and I was walking, talking, and laughing to myself. Sheesh, Diary, people are so WIERD!

And Diary, last Saturday I went to the DCRR 10k Group and messed with (or maybe that should read "messed up?" LOL!) some paperwork before handing it all over to Coach Peter, who exclaimed, "How did things get this confused?" LOL!!! Well, I sure know how to make myself useful by taking lots of photos of everyone else running and stretching, and in between I walked around in circles because I had volunteered (I know, I know! I do sooooooooo much!) to watch everyone's stuff. It was exhausting, Diary, let me tell you! But if not me, then who? I believe it was President John A. Kennedy who said, "Make sure you volunteer for your country." And I try to live like that every single day. As all my friends know only TOO well! LOL!!!

Yesterday, I visited my doctor for my two week after-my-operation thing-y and you'll never guess! My heart rate: 56! (It was high because thinking about Bob made me happy.) My doctor also got very very stern and said, "You have no idea what actually happened to you, do you?" Well, Diary, I hung my head in shame! My doctor is soooooooooo right! She said that my body is busy trying to grow around (ugh! yucky sutff!) some kind of medical mesh thing-y into it's tissue and that I just had to stop carrying groceries, and really, you know, like heavy things, and no I could NOT start yoga or wieght lifting or ANYTHING, unless I was good and ready to have my medical thing-y fail and have to start all over. Oh Diary! I was scared. But you know that sometimes doctors have to be mean because they are trying to help you. I saw that on House. And I no that's what she was trying to do, you know, like give me some love, only tough.

So Diary, that's all their is for today! I'm so excited to be back walking I don't know what to do! I have to go cuz American Idol is on and I am crossing my fingers for Sanjaya cuz he is soooooooooooo dreamy!

Love ya!
YKW (You Know Who!!!)