Friday, October 20, 2006

This? This Is What I Signed Up For?

Yes, it's true. I do have another life outside of this blog, and part of it, which I believe I have alluded to once or twice, involves dating. Some of it online. So far. But, I always like to keep an open mind.

So I joined a very popular internet dating service associated with an upscale online magazine that shall remain nameless, and have had two nibbles that haven't gone anywhere. OK, no problem. (Or, as Number One Daughter, living in Espana would say, "no problem-o!!" Sidebar: Today she taught me how to say "vomit" in Spanish. But I digress.)

So, this online dating thing involves "winking" at people who you think look interesting. Today, I got a "wink" from a dude who filled out his profile thusly [my comments in upper...i'm pretty sure you can tell which comments are mine):

# The last great book I read
mark twain short stories. [SO FAR, SO GOOD.]

# Favorite on-screen sex scene
I don't particulary like on screen sex scenes..porn occasionally..mickey rourke and whats her name were pretty good in angel heart.
And I love Carol Baker...(baby doll) [OH, I LIKE HOW YOU SLIPPED THE PORN THING IN THERE! VERY IMPRESSED! But please, learn how to spell!]

# The celebrity I resemble the most
robert Downey jr [MY BUTT!]

# If I could be anywhere right now
I would be walking down the city street, maybe smoking a cigarette, with you. [SMOKING? Did this man actually say SMOKING?? WITH ME?? HA HA HA HA]

# Five items I can't live without
I actually could live with out any of these (excepting oxygen, food, shelter) but I am playing along. [LUCKY ME]

Indian Food...asian/mexican//latino

Musical instrument (preferrably guitar or piano ..or
wind)

Court Tv (pop culture tv) King of the Hill [UM, YUCK??? DID YOU READ MY PROFILE? NPR? MASTERPIECE THEATER? THEATER???]

excitement (horse racing) [OK, YOU'RE A COMPULSIVE GAMBLER.]


# In my bedroom one will find...
Laptop, cat. journal, music, filth. [FILTH? DID THIS PERSON JUST TELL ME I WOULD FIND FILTH IN HIS BEDROOM?? CUZ THAT CAN MEAN SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS.]

# The word or phrase that best describes my personality
Way up beat, compassionate, creative, sardonic. [JACKASS???]


I dunno. Maybe my standards are too high. Maybe I should date a porn-watching smoker, living in filth (or reading it, hard to tell his meaning) who likes his ponies and his mindless sitcoms.

On the other hand?

Um, no.

22 comments:

21st Century Mom said...

Um - No. Or just plain old NO!

Ah the foibles of internet dating. Unfortunately there are people who have met the love of their lives this way. I hate them all.

LBTEPA said...

Strewth..
and eeek!
what a tragic desperado
clearly not worthy of your lovely self (especially after that calisthenics photo!)

Dating-Guru said...

Hello,

I recently published an article on the complexities of dating in general and blind dating and online dating in particular – here is a quote from it, in case you are interested:

How to create your profile?
1. Make a realistic profile. Try to show your best qualities without lying about something you are not. Try to find out what exactly appreciate the other at you;
2. List the most important features you expect your partner to have, but don’t exaggerate, just stick to the real life;
3. Learn to recognize a cheater from a sincere person by reading that person’s profile or by asking a set of questions that would reveal that person’s ego;
4. Start by chatting with more than one person;
5. Try to communicate with that person in an open manner;
6. Study the other’s profiles to help your create a more attractive profile for yourself;
7. Save yourself if necessary and don’t let these kind of virtual reality seize you completely. Give yourself more options in your life and consider virtual reality as one of the many, and not the only way.

If you feel this helps, please drop by my website for additional dating tips and resources such as body language tips or additional resources on dating mistakes .

Regards,

Michael

Laurie said...

Ha! You definitely deserve better, my dear. At least you can get some amusement out of this, though I know you'd rather have a date. Be patient, it will happen.

Black Knight said...

I agree with Laurie, you deserve better! Advice: he MUST be a runner!

susie said...

are you running away from him as fast as you can? Hey, there's a new kind of speed work:)

nancytoby said...

He sounds like a match made in heaven to me. Commenter Michael can - as they say at Fark.com - suck it.

BWAHAHAHA!!!!

Did I ever tell you I met my husband online?

IrishBlue said...

This is him trying to make a good first impression? YIKES!

Neese said...

please do not settle for that! i know you won't! keep those standards high! the one for you IS out there! just like offline there are those that are unsavory but there are the decent folks too. never give up. xo

p.s. i'll be thinking of you next sunday as we both run our races!

thealphafry said...

ew. Smoking is a big turn off! And filth.. maybe that just means he's a real slob?

Dori said...

I can't stop laughing! Maybe the question should include "How Long Ago Have You Read that Great Book?" This guy may have been in fifth grade when he read Mark Twain. :-)

I'm glad to see that NOD is embracing her new culture. I don't want to guess why she knows how to say vomit in espanol.

WADDLER26.2 said...

Run-Forest-Run. Life is ox of like a box of choclates, you never know what you're going to get.....I'd skip this one.

WADDLER26.2 said...

Sorry keyboard problems---not me!

David said...

I do not want to hear any more whining about NOD in Espana. Did you look at her pictures? I mean, where do I sign up??

I only know of one internet marriage and it's a winner. It didn't result from a dating service though. It was an international linking.

I would not give up. Sounds safe. Just need better fish in the pool.

Bolder said...

um, no.

JeffM said...

Who would say smoking to a woman who runs?? At least you're trying- I'm not even trying. Good luck on your marathon.

Firefly's Running said...

HELLLLLL NO! He sounds like a loser with a CAPITAL-L. No go!

a.maria said...

oh dear.

i'm all for giving a guy a chance, but...

if this is his best first impression, i'm with everyone else.

NEEEEEEXT!

Jenny said...

Cor he sounds like a keeper! Just be glad you didn't meet him on a blind date :-)

Bex said...

I know of two marriages that resulted from online dating. So the Internet thang is working for some folks. Just not the right ones, apparently. sigh.

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

Um, no is right!

Hilarious. Laughter through the tears, baby! That's what it's all about in the world of dating.

Lisa

Ziomal said...

Very nice! I like it. masquerade parties