Do you ever have the feeling that you wish things could just stay as they are, exactly as they are, right this minute?
I've been feeling that way lately.
My job is great because ... it has a great running trail behind it (God help me if that's the primary reason) ... I love the people I work with (most days) ... it's good work. I've made peace with where I live. It's small, which I've grown to appreciate. It's close to work, to a great city, and to nature. I have good friends who are loads of fun. I love my bell-ringing class (go ahead, laugh). I love my meditation class, my Bikram class. I love my church. It's filled with people who care about me deeply. I love my demanding training schedule (sort of). I have one of the greatest kids on earth.
Things are perfect right now.
Of course, the reality is that my life is far from perfect. I have the elderly parent situation; I am in too much debt. I'd love to meet someone to share my life with. I struggle with anxiety and depression, and I'm always one step away from major back problems.
Still, I want to hang on to the way life is right now. Because even though it's not perfect, it's feeling pretty damn good.
So, of course, I have this subtle uneasiness. Because, of course, life is ephemeral and the truth is, of course, things won't stay the same. How could they? People move on. Jobs change. I'll fall off the training wagon.
I feel like if I could just hold my breath hard enough, I could make the world stand still.
It's not a bad feeling, this whole gratitude thing. You should try it.