I read something in a yoga magazine the other day that stuck with me. It was about dealing with conflicts. The gist was this:
Before you speak, or send off that self-righteous e-mail, or leave a not-so-nice comment, or totally bitch out that salesperson, ask yourself these three questions:
1. Is what you are about to say right?
2. Is what you are about to say necessary?; and the kicker;
3. Is what you are about say kind?
I am one who often finds I need to back away from the computer, particularly if there is something happening, let's just say as a for instance on some high school crew team that I started, but am now no longer part of, where let's say some youngster is getting publicly humiliated by his coach via an e-mail list.
I cannot stand it when people use their positions of "power" to belittle those with no power. So, I hit that send key and told this coach what I thought. Privately, but too harshly.
It was right. It was necessary. But it surely wasn't kind.
Substitute your own current conflict. Work, home, complaining to your condo management office, for another hypothetical instance, or my fav, the bank. These three little questions can make you stop and, perhaps, revise how you might say that thing that it is right and necessary to say.
It never hurts to be kind.
I will have plenty of opportunity to practice this advice, as Number One Daughter returns for the summer on Saturday. I'm driving to pick her up tomorrow, so will be offline (gasp!) for two days. Meanwhile, I hope someone out there