We Have Liftoff

Yesterday was the first meeting of my running group's (I have a running group, people!), the D.C. Road Runners, 10K training program, which aims to prepare folks for the May 14 Mother's Day 10k. Too bad my 10K is March 12. (And really, horribly too bad that my first 10 miler is April 1.)

We met at 8 a.m. at a local YMCA, milled around for 40 minutes or so, met the coaches outside in the freezing cold parking lot, who quickly outlined the schedule (something was mentioned about mid-week track and/or hill workouts but somehow I got distracted during that part). Bex is one of the coaches, but alas, not mine, at least not for this official program. We divided into groups (my coach had a conflict, so my group had a stand-in), did a 30-minute run on the somewhat extremely hilly Custis trail, which is where the Mother's Day 10K will be held. (I love the Web site's description: "you can expect a few moderate climbs and winding turns over the trail's four mile length." Hell's bells, I'll say!) But, I ran all the hills. Yay me.

I'm excited about training with a group again. Plus, the YMCA is allowing us the use of its showers and sauna. Oh yes. Which was great for me, because not only did I use the shower afterwards since I had to head for Charlottesville, but also the entrance to the highway is 1) near the YMCA, and 2) right across from a Starbucks! Oh, the stars were aligned.

In other news, I completed weeks one and two of the Kill Jeanne With Training Program, courtesy Bex. Today I was supposed to run only 45 minutes, but I went crazy and ran 50 minutes. In 20 degree something. With the sun sinking. Felt all runner-ly.

Finally, I must say, I am quite dismayed that only Thomas [and Jack and all his colleagues!] had the good taste to want to see a Mini, on fire, ski-jumping. Quite. Dismayed. After All I Do For You.

Sigh.

The Other Olympics

If you want to laugh your ass off, go here:
BBC Sports: Video and Audio, and on the upper right side scroll to the bottom, under "highlights and features," and click on the video:

"Top Gear: Ski Jumping with a Mini." You'll laugh, you'll cry.

No one does Mini ski jumping like the Brits.

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Late add: They changed the url. It's fixed now.

Minute by Minute

So, Sunday's 45-minute run on the snow-slush-ice covered trail was ... interesting. I am now so over worrying about left-right-center, which way do I go? Went left, past the shops and people's back yards, and the golf course, which was covered with kids sledding. And, people, how come none of you ever told me how much FUN it is to run to music??? What gives??

I was bopping to my music, trying not to slide into the little stream (OK, I know it's just polluted runoff from the street. Still, it gurgles, so I'm calling it a stream) that runs alongside the trail, jumping over the trees that were bowed down with snow, right across the trail. Oh not jumping over them; more like leaping over them. (In my dreams I was leaping.)

Monday I rested. (That means I worked.)

Tuesday I biked 35 minutes per (note new nickname) the little dictator's instructions. (Just kidding, LD!!)

And this morning, I ran 45 minutes on ice-covered asphalt, while listening—on my shuffle!—to the last few chapters of "With No One as Witness," by Elizabeth George. Which was at a sad part, so I started crying. To a book. On the trail. While I was running. On the ice. Nice.

Sidbar: Despite all my bitching and moaning about getting ripped off by audible.com, I am now totally addicted to books on tape. I get two "free" books per month ($22 ain't free; the library is FREE), which I went thru in one week, even though they were both like 10 hours long. So now I have to wait 14 days to get another one? Life is hard, people.

Running by minutes instead of miles rocks. Maybe it will come back to bite me, but I feel like I have broken through yet another barrier. I don't dread running anymore. I don't worry "can I run 4 miles?" I know I can. So the little dictator knows what she is doing.

Although, on the other hand, running is now harder. Harder to get my act together. Now I have to download the right music, plus the right chapters of the right book; make sure I have the watch set correctly; pack all the right things, which means 6 different running outfits because it goes from 40F to 20F in the blink of an eye.

Which meant that Sunday, I arrived at work all revved up and ready to run on the trail, only to discover ... I had packed everything but a top. I had six different kinds of pants: long pants, pants for real cold, for mid-cold, for mild; shorts (in case I stayed inside); 10 different pairs of socks, and yes, running shoes. Heading out with only a running bra on, in the snow ... well, some of you could probably do that, but I have to draw the line somewhere.

Apparently though, I don't draw the line at theft. Because I was determined to run outside. So, I did what any normal person would do: I scoured the locker room until I found a top that fit. And then I wore it. And got it good and sweaty. And then took it to the dinner party in honor of my birthday that night, where I asked my host if I could use his washing machine.

And then I skillfully placed it back where I found it, no doubt leaving its owner wondering: How did this get so clean?

I may be a thief, but I have my standards.

3 a.m. Fire Alarm, Plus Blizzard: What's Your Excuse?

Fire alarm rang at 3 a.m., which I heard distantly in my dream in which I was in my mini, very very busy driving it over a cliff á la Thelma and Louise. Got up, looked in hall. Nothing. Nothing but the incessant scream of that alarm. So I called the fire department and let them hear it. They said they'd be right over. I grabbed my robe, and took the elevator to the lobby, where the rest of the residents had congregated. Had anyone called the fire department? No. No one had.

Sigh.

No fire, but we all had a a nice chat and watched the snow fall.

Here it is, 8 a.m., and it's not looking good for running outside.

Earlier last night, I drove downtown to George Washington University's Lisner Auditorium to see this:

Ballet Flamenco de Andalucía

The snow was already falling thick and heavy and I had trouble seeing as I drove. I got there early, checked my coat, nibbled on some free Spanish nibbles, and waited for my friend, S., whose birthday present this was to me. And mine to her.

She showed up; we took our seats. At 8:02, the ballet's manager came onstage to announce, in Spanish, that the show was cancelled because the costumes had not yet arrived. Some in the audience grew hostile as someone from Lisner explained that the auditorium did not agree with this decision since the troupe had some of their costumes. Alas, the star had already left the place. Ah well. So we went home. I was already exhausted from driving to Charlottesville and back, and worried about the snow, so even though I was disappointed, I looked on it as a gift. I got to dress up, drive downtown, nosh, and sit in Lisner Auditorium for 10 minutes. It's all good, people.

I spent the rest of the night figuring out how to use my extremely expensive Shuffle (EES), finally getting to bed at 12:30, looking forward to a nice 8 a.m. trail run to break the EES in.

Since there's a foot of snow outside, I'm kinda doubtful that any trails are run-able. Plan B: Off to the office, to use the treadmill.

After that: church, taxes, and a small b-day dinner with friends. I gotta go.

***

Late breaking news: I ran outside on the trail, in the snow and slush, past the cross-country ski-ers! Screw the treadmill.

Done, Done, Done, and Done

Recipe for Health:

• Four days, four runs (45 min., 40 min., 40 min. and 22 min.)
  
• One 90-freakin'-minute BIKRAM class. *Yum!)
  
• One bike session.
  
• One—my very first, in years— killer strength class (though with an awesomely cute instructor. Who, of course, is not on my team).

And you'd think that would be enough to satisfy one's coach? Oh no. Now I have to add five minutes to everything next week. I must say though, I'm feeling, well, awfully, um, sore? But in a good way. A really good way.

Speaking of good: My i-pod Shuffle came in the mail today. This is the one that I signed up for was suckered into signing up for with audible.com. The offer was for $22 for six months of audible.com, plus a shuffle! And speaking of Too Good to Be True: It's $22 per month, you idiot. I could have bought a cheaper, MP3 player with more bells and whistles! Still, this will be the first time I've run with anything on my head other than my hat. Or anything in my ears other than the songbirds, gurgling brooks, honking horns, and screeching brakes of my native Bethesda.

Speaking of horns and brakes, here's a noncommittal article from the WaPo on what exercising while breathing car exhaust can do to you.

I'm off to make Dianna's fab ginger mango streusal creation. Then off to Charlottesville in the wee hours, where please God, do not let me get stranded in the widely trumpeted upcoming blizzard. Cuz I got a b-day to get on!

It Was My Birthday and I Had My Period and a Headache

So, I thought I'd turn up the volume on this ol' blog a bit, just to make sure that in addition to feeling like crap, I'd get no work done.

But it's a new day, so I'm just gonna move right along, OK? Back to our usual programming...

So, as I was saying, those fascist el!te runners and their snooty ways... ah ha ha ha. Just kidding!!! (No, really: I. Am. Just. Kidding.)

In fact, never have so many misconstrued so much about so little. I believe Winston Churchill said that.*

So my birthday was yesterday! Yay me!! I got some lovely flowers and a funny card from my colleagues, from whom I cleverly kept my birthday a secret, right up until I came out of my glass-fronted ofice and said, "Y'all need to look at my blog. I can't believe the fistfight that's broken out. On my BIRTHDAY, too!!" And NOD tells me to "watch for a package." !!! Some b-day celebrating will happen this weekend, cuz I was in no mood this week (see title.) I will be Getting My Birthday On!!

Some of yesterday's comments were notable, though. Especially the annonymous person wondering if I was one of the ones who cut the MCM course. (Mom, was that you?) I can vow here and now that if I ever decide to cheat in a marathon (even as I write, I wonder what the point would be, and how would I ever write that recap? "And then, I skipped the next 10 miles by taking a short-cut...and..."), um, as I was saying, if ever I cut a marathon course, believe me, it won't be to come in at a 6:30 time. I'll be coming in at a sub-4, people!!

And to Brent D. Yes, I am 23. In Pippin years. Good lord. But hey, thanks! And I learned a few things via backchannel e-mails. For instance, how many of you know that Jack bakes a mean pie? And gardens for a hobby? And is a woodworker and genealogist? And if your tank breaks, he's your guy? Jack is oh-so-much more than a tireless runner able to withstand sub-zero temps in the hinterlands of Germany.

And dear a. maria: you are my new BFF. For real. You all already know how talented she is, and how hilariously funny. She's also one of the nicest people I've never met.

And 21st Century Mom, a prolific thinker and writer, held her own down in the comment pit. You rock, 21CM! She even joined the RBF as a result (well, I don't know if as a direct result, but she met a lot of RBF'rs yesterday. So I'll take full credit.)

Yep, as usual, the RBF came through with flying colors and many kind wishes. It is amazing that the RBF attracts so many cool, fun, encouraging, thoughtful people. People who can disagree, but who know how to converse in a polite, respectful, and fun way. To all of you (and my other friends and their crazy comments): Thanks for making my birthday so special!

(P.S. I had to turn comment mod on, just for a bit, to keep he who shall remain nameless off, along with all comments related to himself.)[Ed. note: Comment mod is now off! Comment away.]

SO, in running news: This is my first-ever week of four runs. In one week. Which of course is impossible because we all know that I can only run three days a week. However, I don't want Bex kicking my ass, so: Sunday, did my 45-minute "Deep Thoughts" run, with, I thought, good results (see comments); Monday, biked; Tuesday, another 45 minute run (no splits, not yet!); and today, Tuesday Wednesday, in 20 degrees F, my easy day, I ran 2 miles in 22 minutes. On deck for tomorrow: 40ish minutes, plus Bikram tomorrow night; and Friday, my first strength class (I have to do this class before Bex returns. Can't be making her mad. And speaking of Bex, she had quite the excitement out on the trail a few days ago. Go read about it.)

So, all those topics I mentioned below that I want to write about? I may just have to hold my horses on some of them. There's work to be done, people.

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*Actually, he said this: "Never, in the field of human conflict, was so much owed by so many to so few." To Parliament, September 1940, after the Battle of Britain.

Deep Thoughts

When you are not heaving and hurling your way through a run, you can actually think. This morning, I thought these thoughts:

• Figured out that my niece should be teaching French at a private school instead of current job which is under-using her talents, because I know what's best for other people;
  
• Composed entire post to Mr. Right, telling him off (p.s., this is an imaginary person);
  
• Composed blog post about the guy who lost 72 lbs and ran Miami Disney and got flack from some elite runners because he got a mention in the press even though it took him six hours, whereas the winners apparently didn't get enough press, and explain to elite runners (cuz they are so reading this right now) that, though this is totally unfair, their victory is not as newsworthy as is the guy who lost 72 lbs and ran a marathon. Because that is unusual. Explain what is news and what isn't. Especially in a country of overweight people;
  
• Remember to tell everyone that I signed up for audible.com so that I can download books on tape for the weekly ride to and from Charlottesville to visit my mother (first download: "The Lighthouse," by P.D. James (totally addictive, btw)) and whoo-hoo, for $22 join-up fee, I got an i-pod shuffle thrown in! Wonder what the catch is;
  
• Started worrying about very strange comment that I left on Noames's site, quoting a WWII song, "I'll Be Seeing You," which I thought appropriate since she is leaving for SENEGAL. Wonder what people will make of it (song is now also on my personal internal i-pod);
  
• Also on my personal, internal i-pod is "Wall of Death"—you know, that ride at the fair where you are standing upright and whirled in a circle and centrifical (or is it centrifugal?) force pushes you against the edge until you puke? There's a song about it, and it's in my head;
  
• Tell people that all hills in Bethesda are fake. They are merely overpasses;
  
• There are birds here. Lots of birds, despite evil highways;
  
• Trees starting to bloom. That will be bad when winter comes;
  
• Write about fixing things versus throwing them out. Fixed watch instead of replacing it. Of course now it doesn't beep. Which is why I ran longer than I was supposed to;
  
• Blog about why I can't write;
  
• Blog about smiling at 50 people every day; tried this on run; smiled at six people; felt stupid; but got six smiles back, and one "way to go." Hmm. Something to this;
  
• Bex. Tell everyone that Bex is my coach, so if they don't like my training program, they should write to her;
  
• Fear. Blog about fear.
  

And that people, is what easy running leads to.

Blogger? You Owe Me

Yes, I know you are free.

But I now have ads on my site.

Lucrative ads.

Last week I made $.33.

And tonight? You have been down for like 200 hours.

I don't want to say it, but I feel I must:

Blogger: you suck.

Breaking Away

See, I don't really drink. Rarely. Maybe an occasional glass of wine. On a special occasion. So yeah, three appletinis? On an empty stomach, too. Really smart. And what the hell kind of drink IS that anyway? It's can't possibly be for grown-ups. It tastes too good. I think it's for sorority girls.

I was drunk people. D-R-U-N-K. Of course I had to tell Number One Daughter about it, hoping to shame her. Didn't work. She thought it was funny.

I slept in late this morning, til 7. whoo-heee! and then, got up, went to work and yup, ran, 40 minutes. That was my punishment for being a dope last night. That, along with a nice 120 degree F 90-minute BIKRAM session after work. Which if the run didn't get rid of every last drop of alcohol, that class did.

My new coach (I have a coach!!) (who shall remain nameless until or unlesss s/he tells me it's ok) has said once more what EVERY SINGLE other person who knows anything about running has told me, which is: STOP WORRYING ABOUT SPLITS. I need to run a set amount of time each week, and gradually increase it. Plus, the new plan requires running four—four— days per week, for a set amount of time, to build a base. Which is a problem, because I can only run three days a week. Coach does not suffer fools lightly. Damn him/her.

Me: "So, I just have to run 40 minutes?"
Coach: "Yep."
Me: "So, you're saying I just have to run 40 minutes? And I can do it slowly? So technically, it can take me 40 minutes to run one mile?"
Coach: "Yep, as long as you don't walk."
Me: "Oh yeahhhh!"

Coach says all this time I've actually been doing speedwork without realizing it. Which was making me basically dread running, and you know, killing me.

Coach also says in addition to running four days per week, I need to bike one day per week, AND strength train one day per week. (Coach also fed me three appletinis, so coach is obviously not infallible.)

So this morning's 40 minute run covered about 3.5 miles (I honestly don't know ... ok, I couldn't help looking at the mile markers, but did NOT look at my watch.) And at the end, I was not hating it!!!!! I was not heaving and ready to hurl! Methinks coach is onto something.

Yes, I know I have said this before. Like 10 million times before. But this time, I really really mean it. No more splits for a while. I am breaking away from splits.

Oops, I Did It (Again?)

So I went out for a wee drink with a pal 'o mine, ostensibly to discuss running, races, running strategies, training, etc.

Three appletinis later (which by the way, is TWO too many for me) we had spent maybe 10 minutes discussing running, and three hours discussing men, my mother (always about me, sigh), work, writing, good marriages, good blogging, and everything in between.

So, this title is misleading, because I didn't do it "again." But it was cute, so i went with it.

'Twas worth it. Even if—and I fully admit it—I am, well, ok, drunk.

I don't normally drink; for me this was like a full-blown binge.

In any case, I thought I'd give you this interesting article about walking and its depression-lifting properties. Imagine what running must do.

"Grouchiness Happens. Walk It Off," Jan. 31, 2006, The Washington Post.

And tomorrow, dear friend, I'm supposed to get up at 6 and do ... what??? I thought coaches kept you away from bad, fun things, like drinking, and other stuff.

Oh well. We shall see how we feel in the a.m.

Nite!