I like that. Just thought I'd share it.
Sometimes your biggest competitor in the sport of triathlon is yourself. One way to overcome your mental hurdles is to know that no race defines you. Take a moment, breathe and know that if you don't do as well as you wanted, there are more races waiting. Build your self confidence, focus and know you are supported.
What have I been doing since Memorial Day you ask? Get up, work out, go to work, come home, work out, don't work out. Mostly I've been beating myself up for not doing enough, in ANY sphere of my life, and beating myself up is apparently my favorite pastime.
Let's take a look:
Memorial Day: 16 mile bike, 1000 (or so) meter swim, open water
Tuesday, 5/26: 2.75 mile treadmill run, accompanied by heavy doeses of "I can no longer run. I suck, etc."
Wednesday, 5/27: 45-minute spin class
Thursday, 5/28: Swim class (2000 yards, hard); 4.3 mile outdoor run (12:21 minute pace. See? I really can't run anymore. But I refuse to let this stop me.)
Friday, 5/29: REST DAY!
Saturday, 5/30: 31-mile hilly bike, which was easier this time than the last time i did it.
Sunday: REST DAY!
Monday, 6/2: 3.1 mile treadmill run; 1500 m swim (with a group!)
Tuesday, 6/3: 3.25 mile run
Wednesday, 6/4: REST!
Thursday, 6/5: God willing, my private swim class in the a.m., followed by bike ride in the p.m.
Clearly, I'm not doing enough.
My first race is June 21, the Dextro ITU Sprint.
How many bricks have I done? None.
Sigh.
I go through these spurts of hating/being afraid of certain things. Last week, as an alert Facebook friend (Hi Karen!) noted, it was swimming. This week, it seems to be running. I used to run outside in all kinds of weather, heat, cold, rain, wind. Now I am afraid of running outside--I'll be slow, it's too hard, I have no idea. WHY??? WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?
In other, better news, I went to a DC Tri group swim at Catholic University on Monday night, as usual, expecting the worst (I tried this group workout once last year and got my ass handed to me, on a silver platter). This time i was pleasantly surprised. I wasn't in the slowest lane, my 100s were impossibly fast (fast for ME--2:06?!?!?!). What gives? I told coach Lori that the water felt "soft." As is not as hard to get through as the water in the American U pool, my Thursday morning swim water.
One thing is clear: I am SICK of feeling like I've never done enough. Anyone else go through these things? Or am I alone in my pathology?
Or maybe it's not pathological? Maybe I really am not doing enough.
After all, just because you're paranoid doesn't meant they're not out to get you.
